Tag: #awareness

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The Glass is More than Half Full

Bill Gates and Barak Obama included the book Factfulness, by Hans Rosling on their 2018 summer reading list.  I’ve been a Rosling fan since I stumbled onto his TED Talk: the best stats you’ve ever seen years ago.  Obviously this went on my reading list as well.

Took the test at the front of the book.  Promptly failed it – like everyone else, despite my fandom.  Interesting.  As I read I acknowledged that YES … things are significantly better now than in the 1800s – in SO many ways.  Huge changes in just 200 years.  And the improvements in MY lifetime (since the 60’s) – ASTOUNDING!  Extreme poverty in decline.  Fewer babies die in childbirth.  More people have access to electricity and clean water.  Most people live in middle-income countries.  Worldwide, people live longer and are more educated (even GIRLS).

Yet strangely this good news is tucked away from our awareness by basic human instincts.  Which may be why Rosling and his family wrote the book – to identify and outline our blinders and help us become aware.  They describe ten reasons “even people with access to the latest information get the world wrong.”  Too often we’re oblivious to our own misconceptions.

These instincts may be hard to conquer, but it’s worth trying.  The Rosling team recommends we teach our children (and ourselves) humility and curiosity.

“Being humble, here, means being aware of how difficult your instincts can make it to get the facts right.  It means being realistic about the extent of your knowledge.  It means being happy to say “I don’t know.”  It also means, when you do have an opinion, being prepared to change it when you discover new facts.  It is quite relaxing being humble, because it means you can stop feeling pressure to have a view about everything, and stop feeling you must be ready to defend your views all the time.”

On the heels of reading Sapiens and Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari – realizing how humans exploited the planet and wiped out countless species – and the constant shower of chaos spewed by our leaders and the media – my angst was eased to learn the fact; things are improving – bit by bit.  Drip, drip, drip.  I just need to open my eyes and my heart – and be willing to change my mind.

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking.  It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

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Sitting With My Inner Grizzly

As I walked into the living room from an extended and very intense workout – my husband said “you’ve been at it a long time today” … my response: “yeah; helps me not want to pinch people’s heads off!”

Strong emotions … and the many ways to deal with them.  With everything going on this week I employed more than one.  Upping my endorphins with serious cardio absolutely morphed my mood.  As did attending my favorite Gentle Yoga & Meditation class . . . and my extreme hip-hop dance class.

Reaching out to my mates, my community for support also provided relief to my fury.  Exercise, deep breathing & meditation; community, all help level my emotions when I’m disturbed.

 

Several years ago while studying the works of Pema Chodron, I was introduced to a different way to cope with intense feelings; the practices of the Warrior Bodhisattva and applying tonglen (May 31, 2015 Blog Post).  Wikipedia says that with tonglen:

“… one visualizes taking in the suffering of oneself and of others on the in-breath, and on the out-breath giving recognition, compassion, and succor to all sentient beings.  As such it is a training in altruism.”

When I read this back in 2015, the whole concept was overwhelming.  Starting small and with time I’ve allowed myself to be curious about what drives my strongest emotions.  In her teaching on The Wisdom of No Escape, Pema says:

“When the flag goes up, we have an opportunity: we can stay with our painful emotion instead of spinning out. Staying is how we get the hang of gently catching ourselves when we’re about to let resentment harden into blame, righteousness, or alienation.”

Coming to know myself, accepting all my good, bad and ugly – embracing it, sitting with it; loving it . . . remains a work in progress.

“Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears. We can bring ourselves back to the spiritual path countless times every day simply by exercising our willingness to rest in the uncertainly of the present moment—over and over again.”

Yes – Relaxing “..in the midst of chaos..”  Learning “to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears.” . . . This is an intention I can embrace; a practice worth cultivating.

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From her book Comfortable with Uncertainty; Pema Chodron’s #4 of “108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion”

The Wisdom of No Escape

The central question of a warrior’s training is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear but how we relate to discomfort. How do we practice with difficulty, with our emotions, with the unpredictable encounters of an ordinary day? For those of us with a hunger to know the truth, painful emotions are like flags going up to say, “You’re stuck!” We regard disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, jealousy, and fear as moments that show us where we’re holding back, how we’re shutting down. Such uncomfortable feelings are messages that tell us to perk up and lean into a situation when we’d rather cave in and back away.

When the flag goes up, we have an opportunity: we can stay with our painful emotion instead of spinning out. Staying is how we get the hang of gently catching ourselves when we’re about to let resentment harden into blame, righteousness, or alienation. It’s also how we keep from smoothing things over by talking ourselves into a sense of relief or inspiration. This is easier said than done.

Ordinarily we are swept away by habitual momentum. We don’t interrupt our patterns even slightly. With practice, however, we learn to stay with a broken heart, with a nameless fear, with the desire for revenge. Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears. We can bring ourselves back to the spiritual path countless times every day simply by exercising our willingness to rest in the uncertainly of the present moment—over and over again.

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Tell Me a Tale – Spin Me a Yarn

We’re born into a story.  A story of culture and heritage – of country, shaped by region, city, neighborhood – fixed by family, gender, race and class.  We believe this story as truth.  Until one day … maybe, we can imagine something different.

When John Lennon and Yoko Ono released “Imagine” I was 12.  Their call for me was set inside my story.  Could I imagine no heaven?  No nation – no possessions?  No I couldn’t, not then.

Reading Yuval Noah Harari’s Homo Dues; A Brief History of Tomorrow is opening my mind to a potential that John Lennon saw 47 years ago.  It’s uncomfortable, unnerving and exciting.

Let me step outside my story, my comfort zone; see reality from a different vantage point.  Change my perspective; make an actual paradigm shift.

Could I try on for size the possibility that there’s no heaven, no hell and purgatory just doesn’t exist?  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  My sins won’t be punished; my sacrifices unrewarded.  No being born again.  All that exists is today.  If this is true – what changes?  Do I choose differently?

Considering I’ve depended on Karma – with a CAPITAL K to take care of some of the most egregious shit-heads of the world a new story is a huge ask for me.

Harari cleverly outlines psychological and scientific aspects of our “experiencing self” and “narrating self” – how our self-told stories shape what and how we feel.  He says that it’s “much easier to live with the fantasy because the fantasy gives meaning to suffering.”

Byron Katie’s approach – doing “The Work” to accept life as it meets me, helps move me off a story that’s grinding me down.  Make Inquiries.  Ask – The Four Questions and Turnaround:

  1. “Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react; what happens when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

… Turn it around, and find three genuine examples of how the turnaround is true in your life.”

This is how Byron Katie helped me “Let Go of the Big Mad”

It’s all a story.

I’m tellin’ ya – we gotta . . . TELL BETTER STORIES!!!

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NYC exhibit

[Pi:] “So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can’t prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story, the story with animals or the story without animals?” – Yann Martel, The Life of Pi

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If It’s Meant to Be, It’ll Be . . . Acceptance Or Abdication?

How many times have I said this?  “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.”  A friend and I recently acknowledged our use of this magical phrase as a way to side-step the hard work.  It’ll happen if it’s meant to be . . . Me DO something?  Why?

Yes – on occasion acceptance of things I can’t control is appropriate.  Do I have the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can change and those I can’t?  There’s a prayer for that!

The hard work – courage.

How many times has self-labeling kept me stuck?  Or allowed me to take a pass?  In conversations with my “pessimistic” friends I claim to see the “glass as half-full” – or that I “wear rose-colored glasses.”  Does my preference for being an optimist keep me from participating in the “real world?”  Then, when the “real world” shows up is that why I’m gob-smacked?

Being willing to do the hard work means I’m willing to challenge my perceptions; perceptions of my personal beliefs, my circumstances; the society in which I live.  Some perceptions provide armor in a tough world; some provide excuses – or explanations.  Some are authentic.  If I never look, I’ll never know.  If I never know, can I truly be happy?

 

Recently my Flipboard Newsfeed brought the Feb 2016, Time Magazine article Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience by Eric Barker.  Neuroscience and brain research fascinate me – people who make is accessible to non-experts are remarkable.

What a great piece – who wouldn’t want to know simple, scientifically proven steps to happiness?  I shared it widely among my friends.  For those who aren’t brain research aficionados; I share Barker’s cliff notes:

“Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:

  • Ask, “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
  • Label those negative emotions. Give it a name, and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
  • Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”
  • Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.”

Opening myself to the real world, having an attitude of gratitude – labeling those pesky negative emotions help me participate and contribute.  Releasing my perfectionist ways and simply taking action reduces the rationalized paralysis.  The best – Hugs!!  Being heart-to-heart with those closest to me, vulnerable and accessible, bring the biggest rewards.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” ― Aldous Huxley

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Saturn in Capricorn – Wassup

Last December it caught my attention that Saturn was moving out of Sagittarius into Capricorn.  Saturn was in Sagittarius when I was born and again during a massive life changing period (for me) 28 years ago.  It takes 28-29 years for Saturn to come full circle – spending ~2-1/2 years in each sign.  Saturn is an important planet.  It represents the lessons we have to learn – cycles of achievement and maturity; personally and collectively.  According to Wikipedia, Saturn “heralds a new phase in the aging process when new realities and responsibilities must be faced.”

This transit may not come again for me . . . ever; or at least until I’m very old.

Astrology once had my full attention – prompting me to have my natal chart professionally cast 28 years ago.  Everything was mapped . . . the position of planets by sign and house at the time of my birth; planetary aspects; Ascendant, Descendent, Midheaven and Nadir of my chart – the whole shebang.  Back then knowing my potentialities comforted me as I tackled those internal and external obstacles.

Comforted me until I found out I had no “Final Dispositor!”  At that time I interpreted this to mean “I’d have a hard time making up my mind or choosing a path of action.”  I was Doomed!!

Bullshit.  I folded up all those papers that represented hours of research, reading, pouring over diagrams and making notes.  Put ‘em in a folder and stuck ‘em on a shelf.

Hell No – no soothsayer was gonna to tell me I was doomed to flounder!  Recalling the lines from a poem I learned as a kid (Invictus, by William Ernest Henley):

“I am the master of my fate,

      I am the captain of my soul.”

I’m not so defiant these days.  Today I know… that I don’t know what I don’t know!  And that there’s a lot of it.  Quantum physics teaches us that things transform simply by being observed.  Our biology and brains reveal uncharted frontiers.  Potentialities based on the position of the universe when I was born, may or may not be valid.  But if I look and see the potentiality within, I just might transform something.  As a framework for self-examination – this is an interesting doorway.

According to Café Astrology, this stage will last until the end of 2020.  For this Sagittarian (whose house Saturn just left) it’s a practical time.

“The purpose of this transit is for you to make the connection between your own feelings of self-worth and what you produce in the real world/get back from the real world.”

“The challenge here is to capture the newly found and defined self-confidence you gained from the first house transit, and now apply it in the real world. You are worth something, and you deserve compensation for what you do.”

Saturn occupies the sign of Capricorn from December 19, 2017, to March 21, 2020; and then finishes up its transit from July 1 to December 17, 2020.

Dec 19, 2017  11:49 PM  EST Saturn enters Capricorn

Mar 21, 2020    11:58 PM  EDT Saturn enters Aquarius

Jul  1, 2020      7:37 PM  EDT Saturn Rx enters Capricorn

Dec 17, 2020    12:04 AM  EST Saturn enters Aquarius

 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” – Arthur C. Clark