How many times have I said this? “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” A friend and I recently acknowledged our use of this magical phrase as a way to side-step the hard work. It’ll happen if it’s meant to be . . . Me DO something? Why?
Yes – on occasion acceptance of things I can’t control is appropriate. Do I have the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can change and those I can’t? There’s a prayer for that!
The hard work – courage.
How many times has self-labeling kept me stuck? Or allowed me to take a pass? In conversations with my “pessimistic” friends I claim to see the “glass as half-full” – or that I “wear rose-colored glasses.” Does my preference for being an optimist keep me from participating in the “real world?” Then, when the “real world” shows up is that why I’m gob-smacked?
Being willing to do the hard work means I’m willing to challenge my perceptions; perceptions of my personal beliefs, my circumstances; the society in which I live. Some perceptions provide armor in a tough world; some provide excuses – or explanations. Some are authentic. If I never look, I’ll never know. If I never know, can I truly be happy?
Recently my Flipboard Newsfeed brought the Feb 2016, Time Magazine article Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience by Eric Barker. Neuroscience and brain research fascinate me – people who make is accessible to non-experts are remarkable.
What a great piece – who wouldn’t want to know simple, scientifically proven steps to happiness? I shared it widely among my friends. For those who aren’t brain research aficionados; I share Barker’s cliff notes:
“Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:
- Ask, “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
- Label those negative emotions. Give it a name, and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
- Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”
- Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.”
Opening myself to the real world, having an attitude of gratitude – labeling those pesky negative emotions help me participate and contribute. Releasing my perfectionist ways and simply taking action reduces the rationalized paralysis. The best – Hugs!! Being heart-to-heart with those closest to me, vulnerable and accessible, bring the biggest rewards.
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“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” ― Aldous Huxley
