Living The Emerson Rule

May 22, 2015December 30, 2022

Warrior-Bodhisattvas – Start Where You Are

Knowing my desire to build ambiguity muscles, Renee followed an instinct and gifted me a copy of Pema Chodron’s Comfortable with Uncertainty; 108 “practical teachings” from her works. The timing was perfect and I started reading these small vignettes before my daily meditation.

The objective of this collection is to help “cultivate compassion and awareness amid the challenges of daily living,” and offers “a progressive program of spiritual study, leading the reader through essential concepts, themes, and practices on the Buddhist path.” So far, so good!

Everything I read in the preface was appealing, reinforcing my belief that these readings, combined with meditation will help me “become familiar” with my “natural openheartedness.” My desire to awaken bodhichitta – particularly “absolute bodhichitta” our “natural state, experienced as the basic goodness that links us to every other living being on the planet” pulled me in.

Then came teaching #3 – explaining that “those who train wholeheartedly in awakening bodhichitta are called bodhisattvas or warriors.” – AND – “warrior-bodhisattvas enter challenging situations in order to alleviate suffering.”

I’ve been chewing on this for a month now. My initial reaction was – NO WAY. Who voluntarily enters challenging situations to alleviate suffering? Okay, I know a few folks who might, but that’s not my M.O. I felt my insides recoil . . but trudged on:

“A warrior accepts that we can never know what will happen to us next. We can try to control the uncontrollable by looking for security and predictability, always hoping to be comfortable and safe. But the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. This not-knowing is part of the adventure. It’s also what makes us afraid.”

This feels true; but crap, I want to be safe and comfortable – at least until I’m bored. Okay, I do like adventure – but oh God; can’t stand the fear!

The good news for me is that to cultivate “an unconditional loving-kindness” with myself – I just need to “start where you are.” No more, no less. Grace.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can..” – Arthur Ashe

May 8, 2015December 30, 2022

Alright What Now! – Remove the Mask

My resume was blank; I’d wiped the whole thing clean; all the blood, sweat and tears – whoosh. Time for something radically different – no more same ‘ole corporate blah blah blah. Did not expect how much it would freak me out … all that white space. Been living that traditional a good long while.

Crazy; the LinkedIN jobs notices I get that “might interest me” really – REALLY don’t. They make me grimace. My own darn fault – my profile being chock full of a technical, practical and pragmatic career; stuff I’m good at, years spent perfecting, but hope to never, ever have to do again. It’s time to shake it up. Enter my new Mentor. I asked for her help to refresh and revamp how I present myself professionally.

Not an easy request for me to make; perhaps not for most folks. Who relishes that kind of exposure? My lizard brain, as Seth Godin calls it, was twitching.

Yet, I’d finally found a Mentor I liked and respected; one who genuinely wants to know me, who will advise me to reach MY goals and objectives, not her version of success. She read my resume – “This isn’t you!” SO RIGHT. It’s NOT me. It’s the packaged me, made to be acceptable at our company, in my industry; to fit into a neat little bundle with all the right buzz words – SO dang boring that I want to bang my head on the wall.

So my resume was blank. Time to take a risk. Tell the world what I really want to do, offer up my real self. Oh yeah; the lizard brain isn’t just twitching, it’s throbbing.

“If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Wherever you are—if you are following your bliss, you are enjoying that refreshment, that life within you, all the time.” – Joseph Campbell; The Power of Myth

Follow my bliss. Can I make any money to blissfully support myself? Hard to ditch the practical when it’s served me so well. I’ve got a great new book to help me build my meditation muscles: Comfortable With Uncertainty, by Pema Chodron. She’s teaching me the importance of the middle: ”Openness doesn’t come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.” Pema encourages us to “acknowledge our aversions and our cravings” to “become familiar with the strategies and beliefs we use to fortify our cocoon.” If we don’t judge what comes up, she says “Out of nowhere, we stop struggling and relax.” Tradition and fitting-in definitely fortify my cocoon! Time to take off the mask.

Stepping out of my comfort zone is scary and exciting all at once. Reinvention ideas are coming – they’re not conventional. I’m thrilled and delighted, inspired – AND terrified, anxious and shy. I’ll sit with these feelings; both spectrums – no judgement. I’m right where I need to be.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“The soul has no room in which to present itself if we continually fill all the gaps with bogus activities.” – Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul

April 26, 2015December 30, 2022

Existential Awareness – I am Thrown

“When I consider the brief span of my life, swallowed up in the eternity before and behind it, the small space that I fill, or even see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces which I know not, and which know not me, I am afraid, and wonder to see myself here rather than there; for there is no reason why I should be here rather than there, now rather than then.” – Pascal

“Rarely has the existential problem been put more simply and beautifully. In this passage we see,

first, the profound realization of the contingency of human life which existentialists call “throwness”.
second, we see Pascal facing unflinchingly the question of being there or more accurately “being where?”
third, we see the realization that one cannot take refuge in some superficial explanation of time and space, which Pascal, scientist that he was could well know; and
last, the deep shaking anxiety arising from this stark awareness of existence in such a Universe.”

Rollo May, The Discovery of Being; Writings in Existential Psychology

“Thrownesss” – delicious! What a word, what a concept. Grateful that I’m not alone, curious, asking questions like: Why am I here? What does it mean to be ME in MY body, with MY mind – today; doing what I do, in this reality? How am I not someone else? In some other time?

“Thrownness is a concept in existential philosophy… The idea is this: We can’t control where we enter the world. We don’t control the historical moment, the economic status of our parents, whether we’re born free or enslaved. All of these things just happen. Thus, we are thrown into the world.

Because of thrownness a lot of options are automatically unavailable to us. What do we do with this? ..existential philosophers.. would argue that we have to build lives for ourselves. We have to push to maximize our freedom even if the world we’re born into is inherently flawed or unfair.

What do we mean by freedom? Well, the kind of freedom existentialists talk about is not political freedom and it’s not anarchic freedom either.. existentialists mean a kind of personal philosophical commitment to living an authentic life–one in which what we do reflects who we really are. In other words, we don’t want to live lives of mindless conformity, of not questioning, of doing only what is expected of us.” – herbguggenheim.com Blog

“Thrownesss” – “What do we do with this?” “What do we mean by freedom?” I am here – this is now; a place to start. Awareness is critical to an authentic life; to be who I am, to create an existence that reflects a real me.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Martin Heidegger used the expression Dasein to refer to the experience of “being” that’s unique to human-beings; to our awareness of “being-in-the-world.” This clever YouTube video cartoon takes a shot at what it all means.

“Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

April 22, 2015December 30, 2022

Try Something New – Deliberately

Make art – “Because you must.” In The Icarus Deception Seth Godin urges us to make art, step out of our comfort zones – commit “to do work that is personal, that requires guts, and that has the potential to change everything.” “Art is the unique work of a human being, work that touches another.” Not for the faint of heart. According to Seth “If it doesn’t ship, it’s not art.” No; “it’s not art until a human connection is made.”

Seth created a series of Krypton College Courses – the first of which was based on his work, and exposed me to “The ShipIt Journal.” What a great find! – the perfect tool to use as a Charter and project outline when I wanted to strike out and try something new and cutting edge at work.

“The ShipIt Journal” asks: “When was the last time you did something new for the first time?”

Think about it! When did you step out and do something so totally new that it kinda freaked you out? Something you were absolutely NOT expert, or even moderately good at? Something that could maybe make you look like a complete and total goober? When? My blog launched September 2014 – BIG risk for me. And last month I started drawing cartoons. SHIPPED BOTH! Talk about nervous and shaky and vulnerable! Whoa-buddy. But what a rush. That would be two for me recently.

Hands-down “ShipIt” champion is my friend Diletha! Clever woman created a list of things she’d never done, and set out to do them. She called it her “A to Z Living List” – and shared with friends and family adventures that included a cruise, helicopter ride, kayaking, line dancing and zonkey sighting (who knew)! She did it! How is that for some crazy, cool kind of art! While she says she won’t go skydiving or snorkeling … I’m unconvinced; I say we shall see.

Stepping out; stepping up and taking on new challenges is the best thing we can do to stay young, vibrant and mentally healthy. In their book Super Brain, Deepak Chopra and Rudolph Tanzi, Ph.D. explain that exposing ourselves to new experiences promotes neuroplasticity in our brains. “Neuroplasticity is better than mind over matter. It’s mind turning into matter as your thoughts create new neural growth.” – “Even better is to deliberately set out to learn new skills.”

Dr. Tanzi heads the Alzheimer’s Genome Project. He co-discovered the first Alzheimer’s disease gene and continues the search for a cure. Research shows neuroplasticity and neurogenesis contribute to our brain’s health, and shows promise to effectively treat Alzheimer’s and other brain traumas. My great grandmother had Alzheimer’s. I saw a strong, courageous, loving woman disappear. Scary stuff. By stepping out of my snuggly, safe world I’m more likely to stay sharp and engaged. Who wouldn’t want to give that a try?

Yes, it’s time to go and SHIP MY ART!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

As revealed by Tom Rath’s “StrengthFinder 2.0” – here is my graphic of my personal strengths:

“Fear doesn’t go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.” – Steven Pressfield

April 18, 2015December 30, 2022

Liberating My Wild Cat

Our conversation meandered around how our outer world reflects our inner self; what that might look like in real life – to a story about my cats. “My old female cat and my wild cat don’t get along.” Cleo (old female) beats up on Alex (wild); bullies her – pushes her away, especially during family time. My wild cat is completely intimidated and browbeaten. “Really?!!” The reaction to Alex’s smack-down woke me to an interesting series of reflections.

If my world mirrors who I am inside, I’m a little bit “crotchety old female” and a little bit “scared wild child.” What’s up with my inner old lady? Why does she bully the wild girl? Why does the wild girl run scared? How do I get these aspects of myself to rub-together better?

I know my wild child. I know my old lady. One side urges me to take risks – the other to consider consequences. Both bring good and bad. The wild child got me in some seriously deep do-do (more than once) … she also delighted me with exciting, unique, fun experiences I’ll never forget. That old lady! She reminds me of the practical aspects of life; that being a part of and fitting in isn’t ALL bad; to think my actions ALL THE WAY through. Despite my horror of becoming a snarky old, stick-in-the-mud curmudgeon – my old lady saves my ass.

Self-reflection, contemplation and meditation on all my bits – accepting and loving the squirrely, sour and ghastly alongside the nice, endearing and delightful is my goal. Strangely enough I like my mischievous, melodramatic side; although when I see compassion and generosity in others – I want to be that!

Yesterday Alex tore past me as I walked into the bedroom; poor thing, so dang full of fear. Cleo and her baleful meow follows me around, demanding attention. Something to think on; meditate about. Liberating my wild cat. Loving my crotchety old lady.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.” – Thich Nhat Hanh