Our conversation meandered around how our outer world reflects our inner self; what that might look like in real life – to a story about my cats. “My old female cat and my wild cat don’t get along.” Cleo (old female) beats up on Alex (wild); bullies her – pushes her away, especially during family time. My wild cat is completely intimidated and browbeaten. “Really?!!” The reaction to Alex’s smack-down woke me to an interesting series of reflections.
If my world mirrors who I am inside, I’m a little bit “crotchety old female” and a little bit “scared wild child.” What’s up with my inner old lady? Why does she bully the wild girl? Why does the wild girl run scared? How do I get these aspects of myself to rub-together better?
I know my wild child. I know my old lady. One side urges me to take risks – the other to consider consequences. Both bring good and bad. The wild child got me in some seriously deep do-do (more than once) … she also delighted me with exciting, unique, fun experiences I’ll never forget. That old lady! She reminds me of the practical aspects of life; that being a part of and fitting in isn’t ALL bad; to think my actions ALL THE WAY through. Despite my horror of becoming a snarky old, stick-in-the-mud curmudgeon – my old lady saves my ass.
Self-reflection, contemplation and meditation on all my bits – accepting and loving the squirrely, sour and ghastly alongside the nice, endearing and delightful is my goal. Strangely enough I like my mischievous, melodramatic side; although when I see compassion and generosity in others – I want to be that!
Yesterday Alex tore past me as I walked into the bedroom; poor thing, so dang full of fear. Cleo and her baleful meow follows me around, demanding attention. Something to think on; meditate about. Liberating my wild cat. Loving my crotchety old lady.
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“Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
