“Don’t be frivolous.” – “Don’t waste your precious time. You never know how long you have.”
This is the message I drew from Pema Chodron’s deck of “Compassion Cards” today. The cards are “teachings for awakening the heart in everyday life” – pull one at random for focus.
Staying focused – not easy when so much is spewed at us all day, every day – relentlessly! It’s easy to become overwhelmed. My cherished ambitions don’t feel frivolous – but they require time and drive.
- Internal self – yoga, meditation; reading and writing
- External self – exercise, prepping and eating healthy foods; getting enough sleep
- Social and local scene – quality time with family, friends and neighbors
- Society at large – standing up and showing up for my political and societal beliefs
We all get 24 hours. How well do I use mine?
Some days I’m so overwhelmed I sit and mindlessly play rounds of online solitaire – or get sucked into Facebook memes, chatter and gossip. The inconsequential Pema cautions me about.
In his book The Icarus Deception, Seth Godin says “Grit is our future.” He doesn’t mean the grit that interferes with our assembly lines and our spinach leaves. He’s talking about the internal grit that asks us to stand up and speak up; to point out the problems we see; to stay focused on doing “work that’s worth doing.”
He outlines what Psychologist Angela Duckworth and others say are key elements of grit:
- Perseverance: people with grit stay hooked because they have goals and passion – it’s who they are.
- Hardiness: gritty people survive the relentless grind because they’re determined to do so – it’s what makes “the work interesting, a challenge, worth doing.”
- Resilience: despite obstacles, they dig in and are flexible and willing to practice daily; this isn’t a one-time gig.
- Ambition: “Grit is its own reward” – it doesn’t need external success.
- Commitment: these folks have “long term goals” – they don’t waver; “regardless of the presence of feedback.”
- Flow: when people are “swallowed up by” their passion – they’re “focused beyond all reason, deep into something” they care about.
Seth says “we hesitate to expose our true selves and to speak up and do the work we’re capable of because we fear we don’t have the power to do so. And yet some people manage to find that power.”
Some people maintain their focus – stay the course; get down and get gritty.
Get down and get gritty – let “some people” be me.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“To be gritty is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. To be gritty is to hold fast to an interesting and purposeful goal. To be gritty is to invest, day after week after year, in challenging practice. To be gritty is to fall down seven times, and rise eight.” – Angela Lee Duckworth
Someone told me once that it didn’t matter where I was along the path – it was how far I’d travelled. Comparing myself to others is a false conclusion. Apples and orangutans.
Speaking up is hard. Mom told me I was an “observer” as a kid. I watched and saw what got the most approval; for girls – it was the polite, agreeable behaviors. Go along to get along. This and other fabulously warped and twisted lessons were digested in my formative years. Deep protective roots were planted – roots that caught and squeezed my spirit decades past their use by date.
Now it’s time to stand up and speak up. That little girl–she’s fading; the ambitious office worker–liberated. Delicious, fascinating new insights emerge every day. I’ve got lots to do; hopefully with kindness and compassion. If you don’t like it – or me, that’s not my business.