“I learned a lot observing my frustration and judgment, sitting with my anger, feeling the force of my rage.” – Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart
When we “become intimate with our frustration, anger, and blame,” Jack Kornfield says we learn the difference between reacting and responding. The Buddha says:
“There is gain and loss, slander and honor, praise and blame, pleasure and pain; the awakened ones are not controlled by these external things; they will cease as quickly as they arise. If others speak against you, do not be angry, for that will prevent your own inner freedom. Learn to bear their harsh words patiently until they cease.”
“Learn to bear their harsh words patiently until they cease.”
Whew! A lot to ask. Is it too much? Kornfield doesn’t suggest I put myself in harm’s way; that I shouldn’t respond – or even leave if the situation calls for it. This is about inner dialog. How I take in what’s dished out. If I let that junk slide off instead of sink in – I suffer less.
Sometimes it feels like the Universe delights in bringing people and situations that push my every last button. As long as I choose to hold those buttons tight … someone will surely see ‘em and push ‘em.
The idea of using “the practice of non-contentiousness” – “Stopping the War” appeals to me. Practice is the key. Practice and a bit of courage. Kornfield reminds us that Mahatma Gandhi said, “Non-violence requires more courage than violence.”
Pema Chodron opened my eyes to the concept of being a warrior Bodhisattva – take in those disturbing emotions and send out what’s needed; with love.
Being liberated from anger, frustration and suffering of my own making – just might keep me in my seat when the discomfort would take me to the floor. Could a magical alchemy brewing?
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“The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.” – William Blake
