How long does a planted seed take to sprout and grow? If ever? Ten years ago I read Thich Nhat Hahn’s The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching and Peace Is Every Step. His words must have registered somewhere inside – I remember nattering about “right work” to lots of people. I took a hard right turn that season and started watering and feeding a very different perspective. My focus was the outward Merriam-Webster definition of success: “getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” Funny how life has a way of providing course corrections . . . and gently or ruthlessly taking us back where we need to be.
This year brought the Zen Master’s books Fear, No Mud No Lotus, and The Art of Communicating across my path. The difference in how I’m internalizing the concepts today is amazing. Thich Naht Hahn reminds me in his book on communication:
“We consume not because we need to consume but because we’re afraid of encountering the suffering inside us.”
“But there is a way of getting in touch with the suffering without being overwhelmed by it. We try to avoid suffering, but suffering is useful. We need suffering. Going back to listen and understand our suffering brings about the birth of compassion and love. If we take the time to listen deeply to our own suffering, we will be able to understand it. Any suffering that has not been released and reconciled will continue.”
”Understanding suffering gives rise to compassion. Love is born, and right away we suffer less. If we understand the nature and the roots of our suffering, the path leading to the cessation of the suffering will appear in front of us.”
“We need suffering” – for real? O-Kay . . . I’ve heard that “the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting different results.” My usual tactics when avoiding and denying hurt and discomfort don’t appear to bring lasting relief – what could it hurt if I tested this hypothesis? But how do I start?
“We don’t tell our fear to go away; we recognize it. We don’t tell our anger to go away; we acknowledge it. These feelings are like a small child tugging at our sleeves. Pick them up and hold them tenderly. Acknowledging our feelings without judging them or pushing them away, embracing them with mindfulness, is an act of homecoming.”
Simply being aware of and not judging my own feelings is novel and unfamiliar. It’s time to stop the habitual shoving and pushing emotions down and away; no more scolding my sweet self for some perceived lack. How incredibly uncomfortable, yet liberating.
When my husband asked “What are you reading these days? You’re so much nicer,” I knew I was on the right track! And I’m not just nicer to him – I’m nicer to me! Hallelujah!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” ― Marcel Proust
