Last night I called one of my husband’s acquaintances a dickhead (not to his face). Is he a dickhead? Maybe – maybe not. Do I think he’s a dickhead? I did last night. Does my husband? He didn’t disagree. As long as we continue to tell this story that’s what we’re going experience with this guy.
Squabbles happen; we have work disputes, friends disagree and bicker; day-to-day life brings a tiff or two with the family. When a husband and wife spat goes down, do we start telling ourselves “bad husband” and “bad wife” stories? The committee in our head can really dish it. We must consciously choose to get off that treadmill! These negative tales keep us stuck. . . . bring us down. Not only that,
Our people know it – without a word being said.
They feel it!
Time to stop it!
Greg Kuhn (Why Quantum Physicists Do Not Fail) says: “the type of story you tell about any event is completely your choice.” Reframing the story from last night, I could say “Dick wasn’t straight forward with you in that situation. He’s been supportive in the past, maybe he’s got something going on that we don’t know about.” That’s a better story. Maybe my husband felt validated and supported by my comment last night – but I didn’t help him create a better future reality.
When I pay conscious attention – listen to my feelings; hear the “bad story” telling going on inside my head – or out of my mouth; I wake up. This lets me get on with it to create a better reality – tell better stories.
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““Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds.” ― Laura Ingalls Wilder, author (1867-1957)
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