Tag: #amwriting

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It’s Important How I See the World

The world unfolds for me based on my perspective.

“What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. … In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.”

― John Lubbock, The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in

In a world created from a singular point of view, the value of community might be overlooked. It’s easy to be tripped up by variations of these idioms:

Motivated perception – where we see what we want to see; is a real thing. This bias impacts me every day. A real conundrum when I’m focused on trusting my instincts!

But when I share my story with compassionate, kind souls; they help me see my blind spots. My companions reveal me.

Nurturing a steadfast, caring network is an ever-evolving venture. People come and go. Things change. Circumstances shift. My squad reflects a never-ending dance of letting go and being smitten. A balance of give and take.

Recently I was introduced to “Ayni” – “the concept of reciprocity or mutualism among people of the Andean mountain communities.”

“Ayni is responsibility and respect. Ayni is love and compassion. Ayni is everything. And it is us. Reciprocity.” – J. Wilcox

This awareness of sacred reciprocity for each other, with nature; the world at large feels basic. We’re connected in a mutual exchange of energy. “Ayni is gratitude, respect, honor and reciprocal living.”

Being a member of a people that practice Ayni appeals to my imagination. It motivates me to that mutual exchange. When we support each other, we initiate miracles.

We Are The World
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Big Change – The Hard Way or No

The prospect of big change, of any kind is daunting. It’s easier to simply carry-on in the grooves I live day-in-day-out. But life is about growth. Without expansion l stagnate – and maybe grow a little bored.

So, I set my sights on my dreams and aspirations – and take baby steps in that direction.

Making small changes; that one-degree turn, is manageable. Take a step – see how it feels. Allow the discomfort to ease. Practice. Practice again, until its second nature. Then take the next step.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds me that while small, these shifts are powerful. Building on the psychological tenets of habit, including the works of Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), he offers some simple and practical suggestions, like “master the entry point” . . .

Make that first step SUPER small (atomic); and say: “I will xxxxx”

Then add when . . . “I will xxxxx, at (time)

Finally, say where . . . “I will xxxxx, at (time) in (location)

There are habits I want to reinforce related to meditation, exercise and writing. So, I made an atomic habit tree to nudge me down that road.

Funny how just opening a document on the computer propels me forward. Knowing when and where these modest actions take place work my brain in the direction my heart wants to go.

Cultivating healthy habits; mental, physical and emotional is a lifelong endeavor. This concept is found in many disciplines; from science, business and psychology to Buddhism.

What I do and how I think is crucial to my happiness and well-being. Taking small steps every day will make all the difference.

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.” ― Erasmus

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Belonging, Being Vulnerable and Gratitude

When life is good it’s likely the result of effort, gratitude and heartfelt connections. Self-acceptance is a big hurdle. Being vulnerable and showing the world who I am when I’m pressed to simply fit in, is another.

Reading Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, is thought provoking. Her definition around the emotions of belonging, fitting in and connecting absolutely resonate.

She explains connection as:

“.. the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

“This is why our experiences of disconnection are so painful…”

Authenticity is basic to experience belonging. And scary as hell. Conformity fosters acceptance – being different can withhold it. But open my heart I must, and trust that the Universe will deliver a supportive community.

In her chapter Places We Go When Life Is Good, Brené reveals the significance of gratitude and appreciation. She says:

“Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives and makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.”

While having an “attitude of gratitude” is important, she explains that it’s more than that: “an attitude is a way of thinking; a practice is a way of doing, trying, failing, and trying again.”

Practice.

According to her research, those who practice gratitude create a capacity for joy.

I’m reminded of a beautiful soul who tended my cousin at the end of her life. We met and connected at my cousin’s memorial. She generously shares her life, the blessings and the challenges. I’m always struck by her appreciation and gratitude for all life; and the beauty she sees and brings to the world. It’s aspirational.

When I spend more time in the feeling of appreciation, I create a future ripe for joy. That’s where I choose to set my sights.

Today I will appreciate this beautiful short by Iniko. It’s a performance that moves, delights and inspires me to joyfulness.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ― Voltaire

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It’s All Flux – Honor the Face of Uncertainty

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” ― Heraclitus

The setting is different. I am different. Honor it.

As I’m touched by time and events, accepting this truth is necessary. Heraclitus asserts that we live in constant flux. That this persistent movement “is integral to the identity” of all things. “Elements change, people change, and most importantly life does.”

The Polymath’s Paradise

Change is “a miracle of circumstance,” – “perpetual renewal.”

When I embrace each moment as unique and precious, I can appreciate its transitory nature. This time won’t come again; treasure it.

Acknowledging that change is “not a destructive force, but rather a unifying force” helps me brave those “teaching” moments, knowing they too shall pass.

Live this moment. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Live now – honor the face of the uncertainty.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

― Lao Tzu
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The Big Accomplishment – A Gift I Can Decline

Seth Godin says that sunk costs are “a gift from your former self”. . and . . “the question is, do you have to accept that gift?”

crappypictures.com

Maybe yes, maybe no. Some sunk costs propel me forward in a good way. Others are an anchor holding me down. Only I can know how sunk costs impact my life. The time, effort and money to pursue an education, a profession or a relationship is worth it only if I’m better for it emotionally.

Seth says that “our ability to rationalize sunk cost is really spectacular.” How hard or easy it is to tell other people that we’re “ignoring sunk costs” – influences what we think of ourselves.

What other people think . . .

So yeah; stay in that profession that cost a small fortune to achieve; so what if I’m miserable. Don’t move, don’t leave, don’t give up that childhood dream – it took SO much to get here. And this is who I am.

But it’s not.

Every day I get to decide who I am.

Is that easy? No – But it’s possible, and sometimes that’s enough.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”

― Ann Landers