The practice of tonglen, Pema Chodron explains in Comfortable with Uncertainty is to “invite the pain in.” It takes courage; then conversely gives courage. When I breathe in what “is painful or undesirable,” stop resisting, acknowledge who I am, I can find “the middle ground between acting out and repressing.”
Pema says that with meditation and this practice of tonglen:
“… we discover how to hold our seat and feel completely what’s underneath the story line of craving or aversion … underneath all that hopelessness and despair … we find bodhichitta” – our natural state.
The idea of surrender, yielding to the pain; allowing it to wash over me, sink in; and really getting that it’s just a story I’m telling myself – is nauseating and tantalizing.
“In post-meditation, when the poisons of passion, aggression, or ignorance arise, the instruction is to drop the story line. Instead of acting out or repressing, we use the poison as an opportunity to feel our heart, to feel the wound, and to connect with others who suffer in the same way.”
Use the poison – feel the wound; let go of the story line … that “is the key to touching in with the wealth of bodhichitta” – my real self. I fluctuate between gut clenching and calm. Again, grateful that Pema says:
“With all the messy stuff, no matter how messy it is, just start where you are.”
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“All great changes are proceeded by chaos.” ― Deepak Chopra
