What holds the universe together? … does anyone know?
When I came across this quote, I felt a sense of melancholy and buoyancy all at once.
It’s unlikely I’m alone with those moments when I feel I’m holding the universe together. The responsibility of it can be overwhelming. But when I see the power in it – it’s liberating.
Even science doesn’t know this mystery.
Einstein died seeking a unifying theory. In the 70’s, physicists at CERN identified the substance gluon which carries “the strong force that “glue” quarks into protons, neutrons and other particles known collectively as hadrons.”
High school science teaches us about atoms and electrons; and the neutron/proton within its nucleus. What physicists learned 40 years ago and continue to study today is that “Inside the proton lies the deep, unsettling truth: Stuff is made of nothing, or almost nothing, held together by glue, lots of glue.” And these gluons are “massless and evanescent” and carries “most of the proton’s energy.”
“The closer you look, the more you find the proton is dissolving into lots of particles, each of which is carrying very, very little energy,” . . . “If you really study the equations, it gets almost mystical.”
So, what holds the universe together? Is it gluon? Is it Leah as she leans on the balcony? Maybe Leah is gluon and we’re all Leah. Maybe collectively we hold the universe together.
When I encounter those who would tear me down and point out how I fall short of their ideal, you remind me. You remind me to ignore the naysayers. You remind me to stand tall in my convictions and aspirations – to keep moving forward.
One thing that boosts my nerve to face the inevitable critics is the backing of kindred spirits.
Taking big risks to meet eccentric objectives is a habit I made early. The first few were reckless and impulsive. Without serendipity there for me things coulda gone sideways fast. Encountering a supportive, caring posse saved my ass, most of the time.
Subsequent leaps off the cliff were a bit more calculated. Now I apply the lessons learned; nurture a mutual, committed support system. And tuck away a tentative Plan B.
My community balances the critics. Everyone has an opinion. Listening to my personal board of directors helps me evaluate the contradictions. And yet, it is my peculiar insight that has the final say.
Ms. Nichols says, “other people’s perception of you ain’t none of your business.”
A Bald Eagle visited us last week. We got the heads up she was around, then I saw her. My husband and I spent the next hour bird watching – fascinated by the size and power of this creature.
Birds are symbolic for me. Perhaps being born into a family with the surname “Hawk” predisposed me to watch out for these beautiful animals.
Maybe the dramatic dream event featuring a flying oracle that arrived at a pivotal moment in my life is what influences my persistent sky gazing. Certainly, Richard Bach’s book Illusions kicked off a decades long habit of collecting blue feathers as a reminder of my ability to manifest my life.
What message is this Eagle here to deliver? Watching for signs from the Universe is enlightening, and personal. This particular visit happened just before the Winter Solstice, while I was meditating on my Intention for the coming year.
“An encounter with an eagle is a moving experience which has the potential to broaden one’s mind and open the heart to new experiences. Encountering an eagle is often uplifting. Eagle encounters may occur during times when we are most in need of the eagle’s fearless majesty. Eagle encounters remind us to have faith in ourselves and to choose the righteous path.”
Eagle symbolism is found in many philosophies, including Christianity, Greek Mythology and Celtic Lore. Certain Native Americans believe the eagle to represent “the upward direction. The eagle spirit is a powerful leader, a messenger between earth and the heavens, and even a sacred healer.”
The Power of Freedom; The bald eagle was chosen as an American national symbol in 1782 because of its great size, strength, and beauty. . . it has no natural enemies in North America and thus can fly anywhere it pleases.
You Are Trying To Control Everything; This bird symbolism represents the idea that you are trying to control everything in your life. While this may sound good, it may lead to da [sic] destruction of relationships with other people.
A New Chance In Life; The bald eagle is one of the most recognizable birds in America, and it’s also one of the most powerful symbols. And it’s not just because of its strength…the bald eagle represents a fresh start in life.
Showcase Your Talents; Seeing a bald eagle is a sign from the Universe that you need to start using your talents and secret powers. The animal itself is a symbol of power, freedom, and wisdom, so if you see one, it means that you have a lot of untapped potentials that can be unleashed.
Don’t Pretend; The bald eagle represents the power to be yourself and to do whatever it is you want to do, without fear. Seeing this bird also implies that you need to stop pretending and be yourself.
Don’t Neglect Your Soul; Seeing this bird means that you should not neglect your soul. The bald eagle is a symbol of the power of the spirit and its ability to soar above the material world. It also represents divine guidance and protection.
You Can Do It; Seeing a bald eagle is a positive sign and it means that you need to believe in yourself and your abilities. It represents strength, power, and freedom. It’s also considered to be a sign of good luck and prosperity.
My last bald eagle sighting was in Alaska during the 2003 Summer Solstice. This new spotting was magnificent and momentous. Recently I learned that the Raven is my spirit animal. Between discovering my new envoy and the Eagle sighting, I’m encouraged and eager for my next chapter. Being aware enough to listen to messages meant for me is a gift I give myself.
“The question is not what you look at, but what you see.” ― Henry David Thoreau
The Winter Solstice occurs this week. That moment when the Northern Hemisphere experiences its shortest day and longest night. On its heels is a new moon, the darkest phase of that monthly cycle.
Both represent a shift; astronomically and spiritually. They’re seasonal and monthly cues from the cosmos.
Many traditions suggest the solstice and the new moon are a symbol of new beginnings. Occasions I can reflect on the darkness and the light that dependably follows. Then set intentions for the month and year before me.
The philosophical planner in me is intrigued by this advice. I can use the solstice to set my intention for the coming year at a macro level. The “what” being something like:
If my goal in 2023 is to have ”A Sense of Purpose” – knowing what that means to me, and how to live it authentically is important, personal – and somewhat elusive.
Pinning down an abstract intention and expecting results wants planning and execution. Breaking down big ideas into smaller bits with tangible goals and outcomes helps.
Will my quest for a sense of purpose include therapy, travel, support from family and friends? Decisions to make and projections to consider.
If I use my intention as a guiding star, maybe I’ll be less likely to allow distractions too much oxygen. Or I’ll think twice before being pulled off track by something else equally worthy.
Using the last new moon of 2022 – The Wolf Moon; Friday, December 23 (5:18 AM ET / 10:17 AM UTC) – in the wake of the Winter Solstice; feels like right timing to make a plan.
Next year’s monthly lunar cycle can be a helpful framework to use as a touchstone. A time to check in, evaluate progress and make adjustments.
Now is a time of new beginnings with a lovely schedule to nurture momentum. My intentions are generally good and well placed. My follow-through could use the structure. Paradoxical as it may be, with structure I find empowerment and freedom.
“The winter solstice has always been special to me as a barren darkness that gives birth to a verdant future beyond imagination, a time of pain and withdrawal that produces something joyfully inconceivable, like a monarch butterfly masterfully extracting itself from the confines of its cocoon, bursting forth into unexpected glory.”
Balancing the desire to make progress with the need to rest is an acquired talent. One that calls for self-knowledge, willingness and a decision. This trifecta can be a wobbly stool. Any one of the legs go missing . . . I fall flat.
Of course, it’s helpful to know what progress means to me personally. Along with the insight that my timeline is unique. Society encourages me to set and achieve prescribed goals; many of which are drilled into my psyche from birth. Unravelling a lifelong bias from authentic desire is essential.
Pacing myself includes deference to my physical, mental and emotional health. This entails rest, quiet and leisure, not always supported in a hurried capitalistic culture.
Knowing my wants, but not my limits can mean I might push too hard. This is a recipe for accidents, exhaustion and sickness. When I don’t know myself enough to have boundaries – for myself and others, my buttons get pushed and I lose my skittles.
Knowing what I want, then being willing to do what’s required, and deciding to act every day is a recipe for growth.
We joke that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” But this is no joke.
“There is a huge difference between wanting to change and being willing to change. Almost everyone wants to change for the better. Very few are willing to take the steps necessary to create that change.”
– John T. Child
Within the principles of recovery programs, willingness is key to healing. This may not be an overnight accomplishment. Sometimes I must do as Abraham Hicks suggests and simply “be willing to be willing to be willing.”
Lucky for me I get a new day every day – to decide to take action.
“Don’t underestimate the power of resting. It builds you back unlike anything.” ― Hiral Nagda
