Category: Wellness – Self Care

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Refresh, Rest, Refocus – And Love You

Taking time to refresh, rest and refocus energizes me. It allows me to unwind – to hold space for myself. Not an easy enterprise to carry out in a world that rewards go-go-go. Stepping off the treadmill can be unsettling. However, when I connect with the inner me, I open the door to kindness. I feel valued, safe and loved.

Being “gentle with myself” takes intention and persistence. Intention – given that it requires effort. Persistence because life is a journey not a destination.

In her article “Be Kind to Yourself,” Marianna Pogosyan, Ph.D., explores the concept of self-compassion. She introduces Kristin Neff, a “leading self-compassion researcher.” Dr. Neff “identified three main components of self-compassion: self-kindness, feelings of common humanity, and mindfulness.”

Dr. Kneff and her colleague, Chris Germer, co-founded “the Mindful Self-Compassion training program.” Germer suggests that by reflecting on particular questions, we can move beyond the “fight, flight, freeze” response. We can learn to truly be kind to ourselves. A lesson worth pursuing.

Sabbatical – Walkabout – Itchy Feet

Too often stress and the chaos of life snuffs out self-kindness. Taking time to rest and refocus is widely put off. However, there’s a time-honored tradition in academia that may should move mainstream. The Sabbatical.

A sabbatical is not a vacation. It’s not simply time off. It’s reaching for something distinctive.

The subject is covered by the Harvard Business Review; Research: The Transformative Power of Sabbaticals, by Kira Schabram, Matt Bloom, and DJ DiDonna. This article outlines “three different sabbatical types, each with a unique combination of experiences.” All provide “increasingly radical transformations in people’s work and life.”

  • Working Holidays – working on a passion project
  • Free Dives – wanderlust; abrupt adventure and a soul reset
  • Quests – a last resort because continuing on their current path was untenable

For me, it’s time for a working holiday. Reaching for something distinctive – and personal.

So, as Mick “Crocodile Dundee” would say, I’m off on walkabout.

Will this outing be a Michael Cawley? Don’t know. Will simply have to live my way into that future. Bye for now.

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” ― Marthe Troly-Curtin, Phrynette Married

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Accept the Sign of New Beginnings – Summer Solstice

Yesterday, Wednesday, June 21, was the summer solstice. It came on the heels of a new moon. Alongside the astrological season of my rising sign, Cancer. All markers for new beginnings.

But at my house it’s raining. And I’m kinda glum. Those intentions I set back in December for the winter solstice hit multiple snags. Which interrupts my momentum. Maybe this constellation is a sign; a reminder that every day is a new beginning.

What I find particularly interesting is how life is a series of ups and downs. As I encounter obstacles, the universe sends comfort and relief.

Last week I felt “all the feels” Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh expresses here:

Today my horoscope tells me my “whole self is reinvigorated – down to every vibrating cell.” Bwahahahahahaha … for real?

Bwahahahahahaha

I’m not inclined to ride a rollercoaster through life. Definitely prefer balance and serenity – and laughter. However, when I acknowledge both the ups and downs it gives my psyche the symmetry it seeks. To deny either blocks my equilibrium.

Yes, every day is a new beginning. Every day I get to choose. And today I choose to nurture and be gentle with myself.

“I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary. I had simply failed to notice how extraordinary it was. Likewise, I never imagined that home might be something I would miss.”

― Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
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Hello World – Show Me Your Secrets

Traveling is a siren call for me. Exploring places outside my element is appealing and enlightening. It shows me that my sliver of the world is microscopic in the grand scheme.

Privilege and limitations become obvious when I step outside my comfort zone. The appreciation I feel walking out in the great wide world runs deep. Yet not knowing the local language, verbal or written, reminds me to be patient and persistent. And willing to be awkward.

My husband and I visited Vienna and Budapest – without a detailed plan. Our agenda was spontaneous within a basic outline. We knew where we were staying, when and how we’d get there. But our excursions were in the moment. We asked for help along the way. And found it from our hotel concierge, locals, other tourists – and serendipity. It was an adventure and a challenge. A moment in time to remember.

And true to form, coming home is sweet satisfaction.

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” – Gustave Flaubert

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Big Change – The Hard Way or No

The prospect of big change, of any kind is daunting. It’s easier to simply carry-on in the grooves I live day-in-day-out. But life is about growth. Without expansion l stagnate – and maybe grow a little bored.

So, I set my sights on my dreams and aspirations – and take baby steps in that direction.

Making small changes; that one-degree turn, is manageable. Take a step – see how it feels. Allow the discomfort to ease. Practice. Practice again, until its second nature. Then take the next step.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds me that while small, these shifts are powerful. Building on the psychological tenets of habit, including the works of Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), he offers some simple and practical suggestions, like “master the entry point” . . .

Make that first step SUPER small (atomic); and say: “I will xxxxx”

Then add when . . . “I will xxxxx, at (time)

Finally, say where . . . “I will xxxxx, at (time) in (location)

There are habits I want to reinforce related to meditation, exercise and writing. So, I made an atomic habit tree to nudge me down that road.

Funny how just opening a document on the computer propels me forward. Knowing when and where these modest actions take place work my brain in the direction my heart wants to go.

Cultivating healthy habits; mental, physical and emotional is a lifelong endeavor. This concept is found in many disciplines; from science, business and psychology to Buddhism.

What I do and how I think is crucial to my happiness and well-being. Taking small steps every day will make all the difference.

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit.” ― Erasmus

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