Living The Emerson Rule

April 11, 2015December 30, 2022

Time is my Friend

“…when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” – When Harry Met Sally

Enthusiasm, ignorance, faith and impatience consistently carried me over the cliff most of my adult life. Impatient to be a grown up I bounded out of my parent’s house two months after high school. So young, so unprepared! Ignorant and craving “something” I pitched myself from Indiana to Michigan to live with my cousin. Faith, hope and yearning took 21-year old married me from Michigan to Georgia. Six years later, divorced, impatient and eager to play, I quit my job, sold my house and PLAYED!

Finally ready to “settle down” I lucked into a great company and for 25 years plied my risk taking nature in more constructive ways; got an unconventional college degree and took on jobs bigger than I could gracefully chew with my mouth closed. Seeking, investigating new horizons – delving into the deep dark crevices of my soul. Happily took another chance on love and marriage with my generous husband – and continue to learn what taking vows and making promises really means. Today I sit on the precipice of the last third of my life and I’m REALLY ready for the next leap.

Older, wiser – scraped a bit by the bumpy road I chose, I remain enthusiastic and hopeful. Still impatient as hell, just not quite as ignorant. I’m beginning to see how time is my friend – (thank you Renee for a practical and effective mantra!). Aligning my thoughts and emotions, I calm the impatience and take action to hang-glide off the cliff instead of my usual impulsive, sometimes reckless jump.

I’m amazed how the quantum universe creates a safe space for me to make a difference, learn cool new stuff and practice patience. It’s pretty easy to be annoyed when I get a “patience” lesson – isn’t that just another way to say some damn thing is flipping in-my-way! Experience tells me that the “flipping thing” slowing me down often turns out to be a blessing. Yet, being bound by goals other than my own – I chafe to fly.

My recent foray into tidying is a known exercise of release that worked for me in the past. Quantum science explains why. Last week I finished Wes Moss’s book You Can Retire Sooner Than You Think. Nice! I am half-way there. Time is my friend. I don’t have to do everything today, or even tomorrow. I’m getting prepared – the thought, word, and deeds are in motion. My hang-glide date could be closer than I know. I’m bursting with gratitude, faith and excitement!

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“Those who wish to sing will always find a song.” – Celtic Proverb

“Those who dance are called insane by those who don’t hear the music.” – Eddie Vedder

April 7, 2015December 30, 2022

Making Room by Letting Go

KonMari Method (Part 2 – Books): Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying-up.

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“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.” ― Oscar Wilde

March 31, 2015December 30, 2022

Letting Go – Getting Tidy

Serendipity – that’s what led me to Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying-up. Noshing and shopping with my good buddy Sally, I mentioned the $25 Barnes & Nobel gift card burning a hole in my pocket; time to cash it in. As we wandered the store poking here and there – I was uninspired; unusual for me in a book store! Cruised my favorite haunts – Philosophy, Religion, Psych. Nada. Wandered over to “Self Help” .. still nothing. Then it popped into my head. That book on Tidying – saw it on the AJC’s Best Sellers List last week.

Making physical room in the “stuff” department isn’t new for me. After my divorce moons ago I sold most everything a house can hold to move into an apartment with two girlfriends. It was painful seeing my “married” stuff go … but it was for a good cause. My beautiful friends gave me the best sandwich hug afterwards and a bruising headache vanished.

Marie Kondo is leading me through the letting go process in a different, very positive way. She’s asking me not to see this activity as getting rid of things I don’t want; rather surrounding myself with things that bring me joy.

Amazingly this point-of-view is very quantum.

“The things we own are real. They exist here and now as a result of choices made in the past by no one other than ourselves … the fate that links us to the things we own is quite amazing.”

“The destiny that led us to each one of our possessions is just as precious and sacred as the destiny that connected us with the people in our lives. There is a reason why each of your belongings came to you.”

Kondo says: “The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.” When I look around and acknowledge my world as a reflection of who I am, do I see happy? Do I see happy relationships, right work; do I like how I show up in the world? Does my physical environment bring me joy?

“The process of facing and selecting our possessions can be quite painful. It forces us to confront our imperfections and inadequacies and the foolish choices we made in the past.”

Yes; I JUST bought that blouse – why did I like it so much that day? Buh-bye.

The KomMari Method has a specific order to tidying: “start with clothes, then move on to books, papers, komono (miscellany), and finally things with sentimental value.” It’s HARD to let stuff go – as John Lennon asked many years ago “imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can.”

“When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

“As you put your house in order … you’ll see what your true values are, what is really important to you in your life.” … “To put your things in order means to put your past in order too, It’s like resetting your life and settling your accounts so you can take the next step forward.”

Ms. Kondo recommends we do this all at once – don’t drag it out. I’ll tackle one major category each weekend (okay – I see komono and its TEN sub-categories requiring several weekends). One step at a time – consistently and with dedication to a lighter, easier me.

KonMari Part 1 DONE: (Clothes)!

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“The more we have the less we own.” ― Meister Eckhart

March 23, 2015December 30, 2022

How Will I Know

How will I know I’ve learned a lesson? When I set out to change – REALLY change, and be “all that I can be” (but not join the Army!) – How will I know I did it?

When life throws it’s normal assortment of curve balls – that’s when.

The past week brought me three opportunities. Thank you Life for bringing them in such swift succession! It was rough, but I didn’t strike out. Did I see behavior change? . . a change in emotions? . . in my thinking? Yes, yes and yes.

First Curve Ball – was hardest to see. I got a bad cold; fever, sore throat – all the yuck. Why the heck was I getting sick? Wasn’t I meditating – eating right – getting my thoughts and emotions aligned? Shouldn’t this make me bullet-proof or something? Ok – so I decided to listen to my body; allow myself time to recover. Yes me, the fitness freak that danced with a broken toe. I wasn’t anxious or worried that I’d “fall off the wagon” – I will resume and maintain. New behavior, new emotion, new thinking. Took me a week to figure out the message, but I got it. Chill out!

Second Curve Ball – not too hard to see; thanks to my accommodating husband. Saturday: I was on a mission to KonMari our wardrobes (KonMari being the method recommended by Marie Kondo in her book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. “Oh no you didn’t.” my husband said. Ulp.. oh yes I did. I had followed her advice and piled the clothes from our dressers and hall closet onto our bed. It wasn’t pretty. I felt bad; I should have told him how it worked when he agreed to take this on with me. But NOOOOO – why would I do that? I apologized and tried to make it better. The apology was new behavior. Seeing my part in making the mess was new behavior. Not defending my actions and rationalizing was new behavior. I did feel bad; but not defensive and insecure. I know that I have a generous husband, because he rallied and KonMari’d like a pro. Message partly received, consider others.

Third Curve Ball – saw it; yeah this one was in my face. Sunday: I’d planned a nice outing with my (accommodating & generous) husband. Something I thought we’d enjoy together. Well it went off the rails; off the rails and into a ditch; with a cherry on top. Not such a nice outing; it was a disaster. The monster of defensiveness wanted to rear her ugly head – wanted to rationalize and excuse. But I couldn’t. I’d made the plans without much investigation and it was bad. So for the second day in a row, I apologized. This time profusely. I was wrong and there was no defense. Again, my generous husband wrapped me up in his arms and forgave me. Message wholly received, consider others!

Making a decision to change is hard. Taking action, setting a course and maintaining it with diligence will bring feedback. Learning lessons may require some humble pie – certainly requires willing awareness. How will I know? I will know.

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“All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.” ― Sophocles, Antigone

March 14, 2015December 30, 2022

Feelings as Choice

So strange that lure to allow the feeling of melancholy to settle in. It’s like a drug. Nostalgia, remembrance, longing; that exquisite yearning to fill the mysterious void – why is it so seductive to lean into? Is that what makes people want to sing The Blues?

That mood, that wallowing, self-indulgent feeling can be replaced with joy – replaced with gratitude. I could maybe rationalize the remembrance longing when I’m missing mom; but feeling the LOVE, unconditional acceptance, giddy silly happiness would be a better emotional memory to have when thinking of her.

This is a choice – to shift from something unproductive to uplifting. It’s a decision; but one that is made from conscious awareness the moment the indolent sentiment creeps in. The ego isn’t going to readily relinquish control to the spirit. The choice must come from a place of intention and strength.

Dr. Joe Dispenza (Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself) says to “catch yourself before going unconscious” – call out that unwelcome feeling to be erased. Say out loud: “Change! This is not loving to me!”

No matter how alluring, it is time to leave behind what will only bring a sad and lonely future. Awareness, choice and decision.

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“… the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” ― Galatians 5:22, 23)