“Somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt. Instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as attack, defense, or withdrawal, you let it pass right through you. Offer no resistance. It is as if there is nobody there to get hurt anymore.”
– Eckhart Tolle
Always on the lookout to level up my habitual coping mechanisms, I found this Eckhart Tolle quote on Twitter. It’s an aspirational behavior for me so naturally I tried it out. It was helpful; I give myself a 6 on a scale of 1-10. Above average; needs practice. But from where I started – astonishing.
Changing behaviors that are subliminal habits requires intent. Intent requires awareness and discipline. My first attempt using this approach, I paused when I felt a jab. Repeated in my mind that this is what Eckhart meant, “let it pass right through” and it won’t hurt. And then there was calm.
Don Miguel Ruiz says in the Second of The Four Agreements, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.”
“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”
“Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.”
“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.”
“You become immune to black magicians, and no spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be. The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take it personally, you will not eat it. When you don’t take the emotional poison, it becomes even worse in the sender, but not in you.”
When I intentionally invite positive seeds and foster mindfulness, I’m better able to pause! The pause is a mini miracle. Breathing attentively carries the pause forward. The universe offers a myriad of messages and lessons. Taking time for self-care gives me the resilience to meet experiences of every sort.
“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness.” ― Rollo May, The Courage to Create
