Last December it caught my attention that Saturn was moving out of Sagittarius into Capricorn. Saturn was in Sagittarius when I was born and again during a massive life changing period (for me) 28 years ago. It takes 28-29 years for Saturn to come full circle – spending ~2-1/2 years in each sign. Saturn is an important planet. It represents the lessons we have to learn – cycles of achievement and maturity; personally and collectively. According to Wikipedia, Saturn “heralds a new phase in the aging process when new realities and responsibilities must be faced.”
This transit may not come again for me . . . ever; or at least until I’m very old.
Astrology once had my full attention – prompting me to have my natal chart professionally cast 28 years ago. Everything was mapped . . . the position of planets by sign and house at the time of my birth; planetary aspects; Ascendant, Descendent, Midheaven and Nadir of my chart – the whole shebang. Back then knowing my potentialities comforted me as I tackled those internal and external obstacles.
Comforted me until I found out I had no “Final Dispositor!” At that time I interpreted this to mean “I’d have a hard time making up my mind or choosing a path of action.” I was Doomed!!
Bullshit. I folded up all those papers that represented hours of research, reading, pouring over diagrams and making notes. Put ‘em in a folder and stuck ‘em on a shelf.
Hell No – no soothsayer was gonna to tell me I was doomed to flounder! Recalling the lines from a poem I learned as a kid (Invictus, by William Ernest Henley):
“I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.”
I’m not so defiant these days. Today I know… that I don’t know what I don’t know! And that there’s a lot of it. Quantum physics teaches us that things transform simply by being observed. Our biology and brains reveal uncharted frontiers. Potentialities based on the position of the universe when I was born, may or may not be valid. But if I look and see the potentiality within, I just might transform something. As a framework for self-examination – this is an interesting doorway.
According to Café Astrology, this stage will last until the end of 2020. For this Sagittarian (whose house Saturn just left) it’s a practical time.
“The purpose of this transit is for you to make the connection between your own feelings of self-worth and what you produce in the real world/get back from the real world.”
“The challenge here is to capture the newly found and defined self-confidence you gained from the first house transit, and now apply it in the real world. You are worth something, and you deserve compensation for what you do.”
Saturn occupies the sign of Capricorn from December 19, 2017, to March 21, 2020; and then finishes up its transit from July 1 to December 17, 2020.
Dec 19, 2017 11:49 PM EST Saturn enters Capricorn
Mar 21, 2020 11:58 PM EDT Saturn enters Aquarius
Jul 1, 2020 7:37 PM EDT Saturn Rx enters Capricorn
Dec 17, 2020 12:04 AM EST Saturn enters Aquarius
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” – Arthur C. Clark
Those thoughts – they keep me chained to my ego. They harden me. The need to be right – to believe that the miniscule sliver of knowledge I possess is better, more important; superior to anything anyone else may know or believe. It’s easy to harden; to think I’m all that. A rigid stance must break if real change is desired.
It struck me this morning how brutally judgmental I can be toward my younger self. Told some friends at lunch the other day that reading through my 30-year old journals was exhausting … as the old me was a sad and pathetic character. They laughed at my melodrama – but HELL, I was being serious. It would be better if I wrapped a mental arm around that hot young mess and told her everything was going to be okay. Instead I’m shaking my head and rolling my eyes. Harsh.
My journal review project is showing me that I fell down over and over AND OVER again. Newsflash! I will fall down again. In those days my youthful optimism – or artless gullibility, propelled me forward. Every face plant gave way to a new scheme from new age mysticism, religious devotion to psychological theories.
I was that child’s clown bop bag – always popping back up. A rebound for every fall. Luck, grace or providence spared me, as the extent of my recklessness; willful or unwitting, was epic.
All the stories we tell about ourselves are what Pema Chodron calls a “fixed identity” in her book Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change. We hold onto this identity as a safety net. It allows us to accept how uncomfortable it is not knowing what’s around the corner in our lives. We cling to what we know “for sure” – even when we don’t know jack. Pema says this identity is:
We label ourselves – meeting the world armed with stories and identities. Pema says:
Being in crisis is unsettling. No wonder we cling to who we think we are – repeating those stories, cementing old habits. Pema said that according to the brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor: “the physiological mechanism behind emotion … lasts about ninety seconds from the moment it’s triggered until it runs its course.” If we let it run longer it’s because we choose to keep up the dialog. To stop that chatter Pema suggests we:
Meditation & Yoga practice started today with our teacher sharing her lessons on “having to be right” that sometimes shows up as the “need to be understood.” Both can interfere with the acceptance of what is. This set the stage for our intention to live in the moment – breathing and doing yoga.
After thirty years of writing down my “wants” – creating vision boards, scrap books, life goal lists – how do I turn that off? Should I? What is real and when do I follow my bliss? Can I know when I’ve crossed the line to “magical thinking?”