Author: Marjorie

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Turtle on my Knee

Listening to the new song Attention, by Charlie Puth – I had a classic mis-heard lyric moment!

What the heck’s this “turtle on my knee” mean?  Is this some new thing kids are saying?  I’m an old fart now, so I‘m not always on point!

Did a search (love that internet!) – LOL . . . I’m not alone hearing what I heard!  Whew!

What he’s REALLY saying is:

“You’ve been runnin’ round, runnin’ round, runnin’ round

Throwin’ that dirt all on my name”

Personally . . . I’d love for “turtle on my knee” to show up as “throwing shade”  – that would be hilarious!

Lowkey Letters #1091

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Am I Willing to Be Misunderstood?

“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood?” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

When I stop “trying” to be understood and let things be as they are – an interesting alchemy occurs.  First, an immediate tension of wanting to be right . . . to be heard, sweeps over me.  The committee in my head gets agitated – yeah; cause it’s all about me right?!

When I’m able to be still for even a minute, the tension eases.  I relax and acceptance creeps in.  Like magic – stress, tension and annoyance seem to dissolve.

I was reminded recently that I get the honor of learning lessons over and over.  Like an onion, I peel away the layers; discovering subtle nuances in each – that remarkably resemble each other, but are not.

Changing my behavior begins with awareness.  I must be willing to see things upside down and backwards.

My yoga instructor shared about letting go and acceptance.  Hearing her personal lesson that “having to be right” sometimes showed up as the “need to be understood” – and that both can interfere with accepting what is . . . nudged me sideways.  That these two concepts could be connected was novel to me.  Could this be one of those subtle layers?

Stepping out and being willing to be misunderstood is an aspiration of mine.  In some ways I’m quite capable.  In others – I’m finding not so much.  Without awareness I don’t even see the obvious.

Today I have a new awareness.  Now it’s time to make this wondrous shift occur more often than not.  Not easy, but do-able.  When I find I’m explaining myself – when that sweeping need to have someone hear me – know me – get me, shows up . . . I pay attention.  Sometimes I can stop myself and allow that magic moment of stillness to happen; sometimes I wade in knee deep – sometimes I bloviate.

Every now and then I’m privileged with a meeting of minds.  Occasionally I find a precious character who not only gets me but builds on what I say; taking my thoughts or concepts to a higher level.  These conversations are electrifying.

More often my words land with a thud – or worse, return a contrary and obstinate response.  This is when trying to clarify my position only creates friction.  This is when I get to practice my new awareness.

The testing ground of my aspiration – am I willing to be misunderstood?

Taking another step outside my comfort zone.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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To Be Understood

The idea planted by one of my yoga teachers that “being understood” may be a symptom of my having to be right.

Having to be right sucks energy and enthusiasm from relationships.

It seems important to be understood for a relationship to flourish.

How important is it that I be understood?

Who do I want to get me?

 

More contemplation required.

Lowkey Letters #942717

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Accept . . . Then Act

Meditation & Yoga practice started today with our teacher sharing her lessons on “having to be right” that sometimes shows up as the “need to be understood.”  Both can interfere with the acceptance of what is.  This set the stage for our intention to live in the moment – breathing and doing yoga.

Letting go . . . accepting what is; not my strong suit.

Thirty years ago I started applying techniques not exactly consistent with acceptance.  The philosophies behind these techniques, they’re everywhere.

  • If you want to accomplish something – write it down. Yes; put those goals on paper.  Being a Psych and Self Help aficionado – this advice is ubiquitous.
  • Visualize the result – it will materialize.  Every New Age enthusiast and reader of The Secret knows this!
  • The power of positive thinking – thank you Norman Vincent Peale.
  • Think it – say it – do it . . .  or as my bestie says:  thought – word – deed

The power of these concepts rests in the strength of our belief.  Some of it is just how our brain works.  Negative people see crappy shit.  Positive people see the good around them.  Our brains focus on what we look for, filtering out everything else.  Takes a nice knock on the head to thump us out of our rut.

After thirty years of writing down my “wants” – creating vision boards, scrap books, life goal lists – how do I turn that off?  Should I?  What is real and when do I follow my bliss?  Can I know when I’ve crossed the line to “magical thinking?”

I’m not opposed to holding contradictory beliefs – we all do to some extent.  A juicy paradox can be so appealing.  It can also make me crazy.

Letting go . . . of things, people and situations.  Not easy, but possibly a key to happiness.  Marie Kondo, in her “Tidying Up” book says I should release anything that doesn’t bring me joy.  Let me live without a bunch of “stuff” that I don’t even use; let toxic people exit my universe; leave a bad … whatever; could mean peace – and yes, joy!

So why do we hold onto every damn thing?  According to Daniel Kahneman in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow, we all have a serious aversion to loss.  We “attach values to gains and losses rather than to wealth.”   We’ve grown up with the proverb “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” – so we see the risk as too much.

Well, Thoreau did say that  “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  Could be they’d rather live with the devil they know.  Ouch.  Let me give risk a try.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 

“Accept – then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.  Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy.  This will miraculously transform your whole life.” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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It’s All In My Head

Who reads dystopian novels when politics and social norms are going off the rails?  When deadly hurricanes, monsoons, fires and earthquakes consume the planet?  That would be me.  Just finished Margaret Atwood’s hellish trilogy: Oryx and Crake, The Year of the Flood, and MaddAdam.  Her imagination is extraordinary, and in today’s environment sadly believable.

Between my fixation on the political hullabaloo, reading apocalyptic books and Yuval Harari’s Sapiens, History of Humankind, I’ve indulged a serious look at the worst case scenario.

Curiously, I’m more aware than ever that “worst” – “best” – “bad” – “good” are just words.  World events may seem scary, dangerous; even infuriating.  For some they’re deadly.  How I internalize them, how I meet them, is peculiar to my personal beliefs.  This perspective determines whether I’m miserable or content.

A character in MaddAdam was weeding a garden and thought:

“… Weed is simply our name for a plant that annoys us by getting in the way of our Human plans.”

It struck me how easy it is to label things, even people and events as weed-like when they annoy me and intrude on my plans.  They aren’t – that’s all in my head.

As I digest all this the Serenity Prayer comes to mind:

The “wisdom” part – that’s what I need.  Knowing when to chill and when to act is hard AF.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“I have invented the world I see . . .   I have invented this situation as I see it.” ― A Course In Miracles (Lesson 32)