According to Dr. Dain Heer, ” The only way most people are willing to change something is if they believe that what they are currently choosing is wrong. They are so busy trying to prove that they are not wrong, because they already believe they are wrong. So they won’t change anything, because if they change anything, it means what they choose in the past was wrong, but they are not willing to be wrong, even though they have considered themselves wrong every moment of their lives.”
THIS is why I follow the Emerson Rule; it allows me to be wrong in the past and change in the now! No matter how imperfectly I practice this allowance to be wrong .. I find that letting go of ideas, beliefs, convictions and judgments that new learning and understanding prove wrong FOR ME – I gain a sense of ease and peace with myself that is beyond the need to be right.
It is not a coincidence. I’ve been observing (and scolding) myself recently for judging others; after asking my higher self to be more conscious and kind. So it was quite a surprise, and a thoroughly new concept for me to read today that maybe, just maybe, I am simply aware.
Dr. Dain Heer asked in his book Being You, Changing the World do I “buy the lie that you are judgmental.” What?
“.. let’s say you’re walking by somebody who has judgments of their body and you look at their body and perceive all this judgment that the person is inflicting on their body, and that they have of themselves, and you think those are your judgments because you can perceive them. Now at this point you go; “Oh, I’m so judgmental of people’s bodies. I can’t believe I’m judging somebody’s body like that!”
“Are you really judging their body or are you aware of their judgments of their body and of the projections of other people placed on their body? And does it mean that you’re judgmental, or does it mean that you’re actually aware?
I just assumed I was judging. Dr. Heer says this is a lie. These judgments of mine aren’t harsh, critical or put-downs. Truthfully they do feel more like observations. I’m telling myself that I must stop this judging! But I like being aware. I like being tuned into the vibe around me. Something new to think about, to meditate on and consider. I like this concept. It makes sense.
Coincidence? No, this came to me as I was ready to see it.
Do you remember your first step on the path? The path: toward enlightenment, to recovery, to fulfillment, emotional, spiritual, physical health? The path: as many as there are people. I remember my first step. How entangled it was with adversity and pain. Pain and fear – the great motivators!
I was scared, and excited; insecure, yet hopeful; on edge for a big change. My life just went topsy-turvy and I felt like all the fruit in my bowl lay strewn across the floor. The fruit was still good, maybe a tad bruised, but still good. Pick it up, examine it – put it back in the bowl, toss some of it.
I choose to start with a search within, with meditation. I was fascinated by New Age philosophy. It was the 80’s after all. Meditation, stone and crystal healing, past life regression, astrology, Jane Roberts “Seth Speaks,” “A Course in Miracles.” I was all-in. And to be practical, I was matriculating in Psychology.
… there I was; 600 miles from my Midwest home town and family, newly divorced, no solid support network, (he got “custody” of our friends) – in my late 20’s, kinda hot, and ready to rock-and-roll. Not a soul to tell me what to do, when to do it, what to believe, where to go … so what does a repressed, shy, wild-child, wanna-be hippie do? Whatever I wanted! Oh the freedom, oh the trouble, oh the lessons!
How curious that it took a whole lot of pain to be willing to leap into the unknown. And what a winding road it still is. My early quest sprouted from the ashes of divorce – and a lot of insecurity and fear. I’m grateful for the myriad of lessons; the long, slow, painful but sure growth in confidence and bravery.
“One of the illusions is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly until he knows that every day is Doomsday.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am in – the die is cast. Setting aside my overwhelming need for perfection, my ignorance, I lurch forward. Yes I am green, I am inexperienced and raw in this new world. And here on day three, I’ve been approached by the experienced, those with know-how to allow them to lend me a hand and accomplish – in two weeks – that which will likely take me months, years to deliver; for a fee of course. I want to learn; I want to grow – and lurching forward somehow feels right. Seth Godin’s blog from 5/11/14 said to “Set a date” – be serious and start. I also acknowledge his warning that I will start out “bad” and with effort grow to “good” even “great”. But I have to start. Thank you for your offers – I may even take you up on them at some point. Right now, I will just start.
“The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word . . . A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. – “Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.” – Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”