Rewards for Perseverance

The last time I read The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel, mom was diagnosed with brain cancer – then two months later a workplace reorganization relieved me of my management responsibilities.  First my heart was broken, then my ego crushed.  A definite low point.

The strength of character Ayla reveals in the Earth’s Children series inspires me.  When I read about her struggles, her flaws, her strength; my convictions are reinforced.  Don’t know how many times I’ve read these books, but I’m drawn in and captivated every time.  Amazing how a fictional character can do that.

Reflections on destiny and free will – on perseverance, grit and its reward fascinate me.  I look for signs, internal and external, indicating I’m on the right path.  Prayer and meditation remind me of my values and motivate me to carry on.

The loss of my mother was devastating; she was a remarkable woman.  Today I’m grateful for the time we did have.  Without her in my life things would’ve been very different.  Loss of my Boss title brought new insights – took me to places I didn’t expect.  The ego can be a brutal taskmaster – learning that humility doesn’t mean humiliation is a tricky thing.  Getting to the other side of pain brings strength.

A melancholy infected me recently.  Not the familiar personal struggle to overcome in private – but a more existential communal misery.  I’m reaching for familiar tools – strong friendships, long talks; helping others, caring for animals; exercise and involvement.

Having a surprisingly hard time with meditation and prayer – guess I’m feeling betrayed by faith.  Once again I picked up Jean Auel’s books, and again I’m encouraged.  Knowing the future is impossible – trusting its outcome is exhausting without faith.  So I’ll plug along – reminded that belief sometimes follows action – so I “Act as if.”

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” – Viktor E. Frankl

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