Fear & Attention

Boo-boo wyoming
boo-boo in Wyoming – NOT watching the road!

There is fear when setting boundaries.  I don’t want to let people down – especially those I love.  And I really enjoy doing things for my people!  I’m learning though, that when I feel pinched, annoyed or resentful this is a signal that a boundary is being crossed.  Still, I don’t want to let you down – do I do it?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?

Dr. Henry Cloud says in his book Boundaries, “Good boundaries prevent resentment.  It is good to give.  Make sure, however, that it is the proper amount for our situation and resources.”  Living with resentment is a sure way to derail me, and I don’t want to end up in the ditch!  So hunker down honey and sit with the fear and discomfort.

Martha Beck had a great post this past week on “How to Tame Your Fears” – Number 5 of her 6 Steps to “steer through fear” caught my attention:

Watch the path, not the obstacles:  “When you shoot”, my friend Jim, a hockey player, once told me, “you never want to look at the goalie.  Look at the space around him.  Where your eyes go the puck goes.”  A white-water kayaker warned me, “Look at the water, not at the rocks.  Where your eyes go, the boat goes.”  My riding instructor shouted, “Look where you want to go, not where you don’t.  Where your eyes go, the horse goes.” 

Got it?  Where our attention goes, our lives go.  As you take each step be peripherally aware of dangers, but glue your attention to the path between them.”

“Where our attention goes, our lives go.”  I’m convinced that boundaries bring not only a lack of resentment, but joy and gratitude.  Stop focusing on the rocks (letting you down) – and focus on the path (giving from a place of love). Rome, Italy

“. . there is no penalty for not being able to walk on water.” – Veronique Vienne, The Art of Imperfection 

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