Category: Spirit – Soul, Courage

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Refresh, Rest, Refocus – And Love You

Taking time to refresh, rest and refocus energizes me. It allows me to unwind – to hold space for myself. Not an easy enterprise to carry out in a world that rewards go-go-go. Stepping off the treadmill can be unsettling. However, when I connect with the inner me, I open the door to kindness. I feel valued, safe and loved.

Being “gentle with myself” takes intention and persistence. Intention – given that it requires effort. Persistence because life is a journey not a destination.

In her article “Be Kind to Yourself,” Marianna Pogosyan, Ph.D., explores the concept of self-compassion. She introduces Kristin Neff, a “leading self-compassion researcher.” Dr. Neff “identified three main components of self-compassion: self-kindness, feelings of common humanity, and mindfulness.”

Dr. Kneff and her colleague, Chris Germer, co-founded “the Mindful Self-Compassion training program.” Germer suggests that by reflecting on particular questions, we can move beyond the “fight, flight, freeze” response. We can learn to truly be kind to ourselves. A lesson worth pursuing.

Sabbatical – Walkabout – Itchy Feet

Too often stress and the chaos of life snuffs out self-kindness. Taking time to rest and refocus is widely put off. However, there’s a time-honored tradition in academia that may should move mainstream. The Sabbatical.

A sabbatical is not a vacation. It’s not simply time off. It’s reaching for something distinctive.

The subject is covered by the Harvard Business Review; Research: The Transformative Power of Sabbaticals, by Kira Schabram, Matt Bloom, and DJ DiDonna. This article outlines “three different sabbatical types, each with a unique combination of experiences.” All provide “increasingly radical transformations in people’s work and life.”

  • Working Holidays – working on a passion project
  • Free Dives – wanderlust; abrupt adventure and a soul reset
  • Quests – a last resort because continuing on their current path was untenable

For me, it’s time for a working holiday. Reaching for something distinctive – and personal.

So, as Mick “Crocodile Dundee” would say, I’m off on walkabout.

Will this outing be a Michael Cawley? Don’t know. Will simply have to live my way into that future. Bye for now.

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” ― Marthe Troly-Curtin, Phrynette Married

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Will the Real “Me” Please Stand Up – Truth or Consequences

“The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.” ― Desiderius Erasmus

So true! But not easy. Can I know when I’m being who I really am? Maybe I’m performing a role that society and culture handed me when I was born. Perhaps trauma activated habitual behaviors and beliefs that I now call truth and reality.

I relish following the Greek aphorism “know-thyself.” Being a searcher and a learner. This inclination is likely a part of who I am. But so are the bits thrust upon me at birth. As are the coping mechanisms in my toolbox; both good and bad. This is my lifetime to untangle the bits, take what I value and discard the rest.

My therapist reminds me not to “throw out the baby with the bathwater” HA!

This determination is highly subjective. So, I keep untangling the bits, evaluating my toolbox. What IS of value to me? What stays and what goes? Can I do this? Do I want to?

Being on the precipice of change is scary. And far too easy to fall back into the comfort I know. Even when it’s no comfort at all.

I want to be ready. I want to know who I am. Reaching “the summit of happiness” sounds awesome.

Today – I’m ready to be ready to be ready. For now, that’s enough.

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It’s Important How I See the World

The world unfolds for me based on my perspective.

“What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. … In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.”

― John Lubbock, The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in

In a world created from a singular point of view, the value of community might be overlooked. It’s easy to be tripped up by variations of these idioms:

Motivated perception – where we see what we want to see; is a real thing. This bias impacts me every day. A real conundrum when I’m focused on trusting my instincts!

But when I share my story with compassionate, kind souls; they help me see my blind spots. My companions reveal me.

Nurturing a steadfast, caring network is an ever-evolving venture. People come and go. Things change. Circumstances shift. My squad reflects a never-ending dance of letting go and being smitten. A balance of give and take.

Recently I was introduced to “Ayni” – “the concept of reciprocity or mutualism among people of the Andean mountain communities.”

“Ayni is responsibility and respect. Ayni is love and compassion. Ayni is everything. And it is us. Reciprocity.” – J. Wilcox

This awareness of sacred reciprocity for each other, with nature; the world at large feels basic. We’re connected in a mutual exchange of energy. “Ayni is gratitude, respect, honor and reciprocal living.”

Being a member of a people that practice Ayni appeals to my imagination. It motivates me to that mutual exchange. When we support each other, we initiate miracles.

We Are The World
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I’m Alive and Doing Fine – In a Good Way

Everywhere I look are messages – they’re ubiquitous and relentless. Some are for me, some not.

“Sign, sign
Everywhere a sign
Blockin’ out the scenery
Breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign?”

My social conditioning began before I was born. But those cultural structures that compelled a way of life felt unnatural to me. So, rebellion and cheekiness became my routine. That served me well for a long time. Then it didn’t.

Serendipity and providence brought me a community that teaches the definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Seriously. So, in order to not drown in the deep end of the pool I listened and took note. And watched for my signs.

Being inclined to figure out the messages meant or me – only me, not you; takes willingness and persistence. A healthy dose of self-awareness is essential, as is a dash of stubbornness. Not everyone is eager to inspect these deep crevices; but I’m game to take the red pill.

Deconstructing the life I was born into and creating one I want to live takes energy. It’s an evolving, repetitious, uncomfortable yet rewarding calling. Some days its full steam ahead. Others I’m running on fumes.

Looking for and trusting MY signs is important. They tell me when to leap with no obvious landing pad in sight. When to power through “the long slog between starting and mastery.” When to rest and fill my tank. How to keep going.

There is no end point on this journey. The journey is the point.

“So, I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, “Thank you, Lord, for thinkin’ ’bout me. I’m alive and doin’ fine.”
―The Five Man Electrical Band; Signs

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Hello World – Show Me Your Secrets

Traveling is a siren call for me. Exploring places outside my element is appealing and enlightening. It shows me that my sliver of the world is microscopic in the grand scheme.

Privilege and limitations become obvious when I step outside my comfort zone. The appreciation I feel walking out in the great wide world runs deep. Yet not knowing the local language, verbal or written, reminds me to be patient and persistent. And willing to be awkward.

My husband and I visited Vienna and Budapest – without a detailed plan. Our agenda was spontaneous within a basic outline. We knew where we were staying, when and how we’d get there. But our excursions were in the moment. We asked for help along the way. And found it from our hotel concierge, locals, other tourists – and serendipity. It was an adventure and a challenge. A moment in time to remember.

And true to form, coming home is sweet satisfaction.

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.” – Gustave Flaubert

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