Category: Social – Society, Business

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Who Do You Think You Are? – Right Now?

“Reality is a projection of your thoughts or the things you habitually think about. Your entire life and everything in it is a result of your belief system coupled with your thoughts. The feelings and emotions you have cement this in your mind, and the illusion of all of this combined is what you see as your reality on a moment-to-moment and day-to-day basis.”

― Stephen Richards, How to Get Everything You Can Imagine

That person I think I am – I am that. I’m not who I wish I was or even what I’m working toward. I am exactly who I conceive myself to be today. That – Absolutely.

To BE more I must believe I AM more. My imagination will take me there, in increments. Increments so small that when my goal is reached, I stand amazed.

It means I push past the uncomfortable edges of my fear. Step outside my comfort zone and sit in the awkwardness. It happens when I stop telling myself I’m “NOT” something. When I state that “I AM” who I want to be – eventually my heart feels this truth.

Last week, the guide taking a handful of us rookies rappelling off a cliff said – “Who’s first?”

My feet started moving in his direction – like they had a mind of their own! Intriguing . . . I guess it would be me! That’s how I found myself the first of us to step off the cliff backwards.

Ivins, Utah

I AM bold. I AM gutsy. I AM adventurous. I AM that.

Each step I take toward a goal or desire – leads me where I want to be. That want I can’t shake reveals where to go. What is the next small step in that direction? Listening to my quiet self tells me. Each tweak builds my discipline muscle. Mastery doesn’t magically appear, it emerges.

If I think I can’t – I can’t. But I will when I know I can.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ― Lao Tzu

Imagine Dragons – “Whatever It Takes”
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Choose Life – Own It, Have No Regrets

It’s easy to say I’d do something different “knowing what I know now.” But I make choices with the information I have. This is my life to own; regret is futile. Choose to live.

Being paralyzed and doing nothing is worse than regret. Sylvia Plath writes in “The Bell Jar,” when I don’t choose, I starve and watch my options wither and die.

Fig Tree

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.

“One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and the pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out.

“I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.” – The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Every decision, each choice – no matter how big or small creates my life. When I look around how can I regret any of it? How do I know which choice if not made, would take away what I love?

A life not chosen is lived somewhere else in the multiverse. Let her/him enjoy those figs.

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.”

― Kurt Vonnegut
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Rock the Boat, Don’t Tip the Boat Over

There are as many ways to make the world better – as there are people.

Venice Italy

The determination of those who step up to the front lines is remarkable. They lead important movements, care for the hurt and brokenhearted. The trailblazers guide, influence and motivate – often into uncharted territory.

The frontier I seek, and my preferred way to change the world, is through personal transformation, less ego and doing better. Directing my energy to heal wounds and increase self-knowledge develops me and my relations with my inner circle. As I grow so does my influence – like a rock sending ripples on a calm pond.

A day came when my need to do something MORE exploded. My fight instinct was triggered. So, I did things; large and small. My foray into a world of resistance, politics and social conflict was challenging. Hot buttons were pushed and deeply buried wounds exposed – casting me into a dark place. Forget about rocking the boat, I went into the sea. The experience certainly brought more insights, but it was unsettling and stressful.

Struggles aren’t good or bad, they inform.

My walk through that Dark Night of the Soul reaffirmed and deepened how I want to show up in the world.

By reframing my outlook on obstacles, I found ways to change the world personally and as an ally. Focusing my energy on what I want, not some looming doom – I found the stamina and creativity to contribute.

Symbolically I renamed a folder for email keepers – from “RESISTANCE” to “FREEDOM.” That’s where my ActBlue receipts go. How I participate with the freedom community has evolved and matured. Moments of temper still pay a visit, but they don’t derail me for long.

My internal candle supports the cause, as does my low-key external contribution. Knowing how to personally meet communal moments of unrest is important. Every approach when activated creates a bigger more diverse impact – and is more likely to succeed.

I want to be a part of a world that works together, rocks the boat, when we notice people and communities being wrecked. We’re all different, as are our talents and strengths to make waves. No need to tip the boat over.

“If the shoe doesn’t fit, must we change the foot?”

― Gloria Steinem
Don’t Rock the Boat – Hughes Corporation
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My Path Is Unique – Comparisons Not Required

It’s not about where I am, but the distance I traveled to get here. What I learn along the way is the gift.

Yet our society asks us to rank ourselves against neighbors, co-workers, family and friends regardless of the grace or handicap we’re bestowed at birth. This habit of behavior creates needless suffering.

If I meet someone at some point in time somewhere in space, after spending decades and significant effort getting there; while they were born in a situation nearby – how similar are we?

Click here for: The Sneetches

It’s likely our prospects, temperaments and worldviews are different. Proximity isn’t always related to affinity. Still, we’re on the same path now – that’s not an accident. The tenant “like attracts like” is an explanation, a warning or a promise depending on how you look at it.

There’s a poem by an unknown author that suggests people show up in our lives for a “Reason, Season or Lifetime.” Law of attraction brought us together; the why is ours to discover. What starts out as a helping hand or guidance and comfort during a tough time can mature into a lifelong friendship. Seasonal relationships provide camaraderie and fellowship in the many communities we reside. Those lifetime bonds – they’re pure gold.

The company I find along my path bring vibrancy and depth to my experience. When I listen to my intuition and use my imagination to invent tomorrow; the company that coincidence delivers to my door will surely delight and surprise me.

My path is unique. The people I meet along the way are an instrument of enlightenment, comparison is not required.

“Stop thinking you’re doing it all wrong. Your path doesn’t look like anybody else’s because it can’t, it shouldn’t, and it won’t.” – Eleanor Brownn

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Time to Let Go, Who Wants to be Dragged

How many times did I want to let go; but wouldn’t; couldn’t? Grasping a grievance, a person, or a habit slowly chips away at my peace.

When I’m honest I see grievance is about ego; especially the “you did me wrong” accusation. Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong. Even if I’m not, so what. If it’s egregious, goodbye – one way to let go. Holding onto something that eats me up – why? To be the big dog? To be right?

Reciprocal love and friendship are glorious. That one-way street is torture and clinging, just a need for control.

Habits are tricky. They’re buried under layers of societal and familial conditioning. We grow up thinking this is who I am – how things are supposed to be. No. Just because we think it’s so doesn’t make it true. It often takes a hard knock to make us willing to change a belief.

My thoughts, poor choices and willingness to simply fit in with the crowd interferes with my happiness.  Realizing this is an aha moment.  Having the courage to own it and change it – while difficult, ultimately is what relieves the pressure.

It boils down to how happy I want to be and how addicted I am to suffering.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

Lao Tzu

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