“Don’t Worry, My Story Ends Good”

Thank you Lisa Nichols!

When I encounter those who would tear me down and point out how I fall short of their ideal, you remind me. You remind me to ignore the naysayers. You remind me to stand tall in my convictions and aspirations – to keep moving forward.

One thing that boosts my nerve to face the inevitable critics is the backing of kindred spirits.

Taking big risks to meet eccentric objectives is a habit I made early. The first few were reckless and impulsive. Without serendipity there for me things coulda gone sideways fast. Encountering a supportive, caring posse saved my ass, most of the time.

Subsequent leaps off the cliff were a bit more calculated. Now I apply the lessons learned; nurture a mutual, committed support system. And tuck away a tentative Plan B.

My community balances the critics. Everyone has an opinion. Listening to my personal board of directors helps me evaluate the contradictions. And yet, it is my peculiar insight that has the final say.

Ms. Nichols says, “other people’s perception of you ain’t none of your business.”

She’s right. It’s my unique knowing that matters. It’s me defying gravity.


“After all, the true seeing is within.” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

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The Winter Solstice – A Time of New Beginnings

The Winter Solstice occurs this week. That moment when the Northern Hemisphere experiences its shortest day and longest night. On its heels is a new moon, the darkest phase of that monthly cycle.

Both represent a shift; astronomically and spiritually. They’re seasonal and monthly cues from the cosmos.

Many traditions suggest the solstice and the new moon are a symbol of new beginnings. Occasions I can reflect on the darkness and the light that dependably follows. Then set intentions for the month and year before me.

The philosophical planner in me is intrigued by this advice. I can use the solstice to set my intention for the coming year at a macro level. The “what” being something like:

If my goal in 2023 is to have ”A Sense of Purpose” – knowing what that means to me, and how to live it authentically is important, personal – and somewhat elusive.

Pinning down an abstract intention and expecting results wants planning and execution. Breaking down big ideas into smaller bits with tangible goals and outcomes helps.

Monday I read in Seth’s Blog: “Boundaries are levers – And assertions are maps.” So yeah; what’s it gonna cost? How long will it take? Planning. Boundaries.

Will my quest for a sense of purpose include therapy, travel, support from family and friends? Decisions to make and projections to consider.

If I use my intention as a guiding star, maybe I’ll be less likely to allow distractions too much oxygen. Or I’ll think twice before being pulled off track by something else equally worthy.

Using the last new moon of 2022 – The Wolf Moon; Friday, December 23 (5:18 AM ET / 10:17 AM UTC) – in the wake of the Winter Solstice; feels like right timing to make a plan.

Next year’s monthly lunar cycle can be a helpful framework to use as a touchstone. A time to check in, evaluate progress and make adjustments.

Now is a time of new beginnings with a lovely schedule to nurture momentum. My intentions are generally good and well placed. My follow-through could use the structure. Paradoxical as it may be, with structure I find empowerment and freedom.


“The winter solstice has always been special to me as a barren darkness that gives birth to a verdant future beyond imagination, a time of pain and withdrawal that produces something joyfully inconceivable, like a monarch butterfly masterfully extracting itself from the confines of its cocoon, bursting forth into unexpected glory.”

– Gary Zukav
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Balance – Hurry Up but Chill

Balancing the desire to make progress with the need to rest is an acquired talent. One that calls for self-knowledge, willingness and a decision. This trifecta can be a wobbly stool. Any one of the legs go missing . . . I fall flat.

Of course, it’s helpful to know what progress means to me personally. Along with the insight that my timeline is unique. Society encourages me to set and achieve prescribed goals; many of which are drilled into my psyche from birth. Unravelling a lifelong bias from authentic desire is essential.

Yes, setting and acquiring goals delivers rewards. Ensuring they’re rewards I want is key.

Pacing myself includes deference to my physical, mental and emotional health. This entails rest, quiet and leisure, not always supported in a hurried capitalistic culture.

Knowing my wants, but not my limits can mean I might push too hard. This is a recipe for accidents, exhaustion and sickness. When I don’t know myself enough to have boundaries – for myself and others, my buttons get pushed and I lose my skittles.

Knowing what I want, then being willing to do what’s required, and deciding to act every day is a recipe for growth.

We joke that “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” But this is no joke.

“There is a huge difference between wanting to change and being willing to change. Almost everyone wants to change for the better. Very few are willing to take the steps necessary to create that change.”

– John T. Child

Within the principles of recovery programs, willingness is key to healing. This may not be an overnight accomplishment. Sometimes I must do as Abraham Hicks suggests and simply “be willing to be willing to be willing.”

Lucky for me I get a new day every day – to decide to take action.

“Don’t underestimate the power of resting. It builds you back unlike anything.” ― Hiral Nagda

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Beware Traditions! A Girl Could Get Burned

Matchmaker, matchmaker, plan me no plans.
I’m in no rush. maybe I’ve learned
Playing with matches a girl can get burned
.”

Traditions and customs thread the fabric of our communities and family life making it tricky to suss out substance from stereotypes. Urban myths and stories told in schools, religious organizations, through corporate marketing and social media perpetuate yesterday into today. Escaping messages about who and what we “ought” to be is unlikely. And change is hard.

For an independent, rebellious sort of female, fitting into a society shaped by men, for men is awkward. Don’t like to cook? Ahem. Want a rewarding career? Follow the formula. May require I cut off bits of myself to fit that mold; if I want the good stuff anyway. How about a family? There’s a formula for that too. Danger, Will Robinson!

Women could vote when I was born – by about four decades. Alas, they weren’t legally entitled to have a credit card in their name until 1974. I was a teenager. The gender pay gap was between 60% and 75% all my working life. Considerable impact on my lifetime earning potential. Today it’s still not at parity.

Freedom of movement, health and education for women did improve for my generation. I was 14 when abortion was made legal – granting me the basic right to choose for myself. Hmm . . appears we’re regressing.

Despite the progress, the ERA stalled and died. Subtle methods of indoctrination linger that maintain the patriarchy.


Untangling ingrained habits and beliefs in my own psyche is a journey. A twisty, circuitous road, full of dead ends and loop backs. Changing behavior is uncomfortable and takes time. Takes willingness to let go. Willingness to be different. And an awareness that something is off.

Abraham Hicks tells me I can be ready to be ready to be ready for awakening. Martha Beck reminds me that change happens best in 1-degree turns.

Today I’ll open my eyes and take one step in the direction I want to go. I change, the world changes.


“That is, to be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves
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Be Happy on the Way to Happy

Thank you, Viola Davis for this Jenifer Lewis short:

As Ms. Davis says in her Instagram post . . . these powerful words are a gift. An inspiring, motivating gift. For me it’s her call to be happy now that most registers.

“You gotta be happy on your way to happy; don’t think you’re going to get there and be happy; you carry yourself with you.”

Going through life sad, mad or melancholy isn’t necessary. Not when there are so many things that bring pleasure and lift me up. Why be consumed or fixated on contrary thoughts and positions?

Everything has its season. Yes. This is life after all.

Choosing how I think and perceive the world is a habit. When I encourage happy thoughts, the joy in life unique and distinctive to me grows. Like a muscle it gets stronger with use.

Today, let me wake up and find delight, enjoyment and pleasure; and choose to meet myself.


“If you’ve got nothing to dance about, find a reason to sing.”

― Melody Carstairs
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