Category: Social – Society, Business

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Accept the Sign of New Beginnings – Summer Solstice

Yesterday, Wednesday, June 21, was the summer solstice. It came on the heels of a new moon. Alongside the astrological season of my rising sign, Cancer. All markers for new beginnings.

But at my house it’s raining. And I’m kinda glum. Those intentions I set back in December for the winter solstice hit multiple snags. Which interrupts my momentum. Maybe this constellation is a sign; a reminder that every day is a new beginning.

What I find particularly interesting is how life is a series of ups and downs. As I encounter obstacles, the universe sends comfort and relief.

Last week I felt “all the feels” Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh expresses here:

Today my horoscope tells me my “whole self is reinvigorated – down to every vibrating cell.” Bwahahahahahaha … for real?

Bwahahahahahaha

I’m not inclined to ride a rollercoaster through life. Definitely prefer balance and serenity – and laughter. However, when I acknowledge both the ups and downs it gives my psyche the symmetry it seeks. To deny either blocks my equilibrium.

Yes, every day is a new beginning. Every day I get to choose. And today I choose to nurture and be gentle with myself.

“I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary. I had simply failed to notice how extraordinary it was. Likewise, I never imagined that home might be something I would miss.”

― Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
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Boundaries and Beliefs – Be Better

This year brought unexpected, but welcome personal insights. Around boundaries, or lack thereof. Around beliefs I’d bought hook, line and sinker – that were a total fabrication.

With each epiphany and moment of deep enlightenment, I imagine I’ve reached a pinnacle. Then life gifts me with reminders that I’m not done yet. This is a journey after all.

Learning that boundaries are important makes logical sense, and my schooling started nine years ago. Gaining a deeper appreciation for their value took a minute. In February, the seeds planted in 2014 sprouted. Now it’s time to nurture and cultivate their growth. And adjust to the changes new behaviors brought.

Recent willingness to walk through difficult topics and triggering subjects, highlighted a belief I held about myself that was just plain wrong. A random personality test taken early in my corporate career labeled me low on the empathy scale. Yes, I’d just read Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. Absolutely, I’m a Type-A overachiever and know the 80/20 rule very well. And sad to say, this classification sanctions conduct rewarded in a patriarchal office environment. But no. It wasn’t true.

Reading the book Emotional Labor, by Rose Hackman struck several nerves. The invisible, under-appreciated work done by women and the marginalized in society, the workplace, and at home is a lifelong frustration of mine. I stood up to “the man” where I could, boosting myself and others. But the entrenched misogyny and my own lack of boundaries kept my internal chaos up and results modest.

Rose Hackman points out that we have much to do to raise awareness of what’s entrenched in our society and our psyches. Her chapter on empathy lit me up. The lightbulb clicked. I’m decidedly empathetic; in every definition of the word. And I see how embracing that old fiction shaped my outlook and interactions. How it sustained my anxiety.

Learning to hold boundaries while embracing compassion for others is possible and improves my life.

As I integrate these lessons and throw out that false narrative – the Universe generously reminds me to be gentle with myself. That youngster didn’t know any better and deserves her share of my empathy.

“Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, teachers.”

― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
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On the Verge – Hurry Up and Wait

My Higher Self likes to remind me … “patience young grasshopper.”

Too many times I prayed for patience. One day it dawned on me that this prayer might create situations where practicing acceptance is mandatory. So, I quit that prayer.

Along the way I learned that patience is a strength. A strength found in everyday living. The commencement speech by David Foster Wallace, “This is Water” reminds me that my day-in/ day-out life routine is where I get to choose. This is where I “decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.”

Then there’s days I know something’s about to go down; I’m on the verge . . . it’s a potent sensation. But what that some something is – haven’t a clue. That’s disconcerting.

When I allow myself to be still and sit in the discomfort of not knowing, that sense might shift to an awareness that it’s done. It’s here; complete. Inexplicably, that enigmatic imprint is amplified.

But everything is different.

Now I sit back and watch the unfolding.

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

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It’s Important How I See the World

The world unfolds for me based on my perspective.

“What we do see depends mainly on what we look for. … In the same field the farmer will notice the crop, the geologists the fossils, botanists the flowers, artists the colouring, sportmen the cover for the game. Though we may all look at the same things, it does not all follow that we should see them.”

― John Lubbock, The Beauties of Nature and the Wonders of the World We Live in

In a world created from a singular point of view, the value of community might be overlooked. It’s easy to be tripped up by variations of these idioms:

Motivated perception – where we see what we want to see; is a real thing. This bias impacts me every day. A real conundrum when I’m focused on trusting my instincts!

But when I share my story with compassionate, kind souls; they help me see my blind spots. My companions reveal me.

Nurturing a steadfast, caring network is an ever-evolving venture. People come and go. Things change. Circumstances shift. My squad reflects a never-ending dance of letting go and being smitten. A balance of give and take.

Recently I was introduced to “Ayni” – “the concept of reciprocity or mutualism among people of the Andean mountain communities.”

“Ayni is responsibility and respect. Ayni is love and compassion. Ayni is everything. And it is us. Reciprocity.” – J. Wilcox

This awareness of sacred reciprocity for each other, with nature; the world at large feels basic. We’re connected in a mutual exchange of energy. “Ayni is gratitude, respect, honor and reciprocal living.”

Being a member of a people that practice Ayni appeals to my imagination. It motivates me to that mutual exchange. When we support each other, we initiate miracles.

We Are The World
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I’m Alive and Doing Fine – In a Good Way

Everywhere I look are messages – they’re ubiquitous and relentless. Some are for me, some not.

“Sign, sign
Everywhere a sign
Blockin’ out the scenery
Breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that
Can’t you read the sign?”

My social conditioning began before I was born. But those cultural structures that compelled a way of life felt unnatural to me. So, rebellion and cheekiness became my routine. That served me well for a long time. Then it didn’t.

Serendipity and providence brought me a community that teaches the definition of insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Seriously. So, in order to not drown in the deep end of the pool I listened and took note. And watched for my signs.

Being inclined to figure out the messages meant or me – only me, not you; takes willingness and persistence. A healthy dose of self-awareness is essential, as is a dash of stubbornness. Not everyone is eager to inspect these deep crevices; but I’m game to take the red pill.

Deconstructing the life I was born into and creating one I want to live takes energy. It’s an evolving, repetitious, uncomfortable yet rewarding calling. Some days its full steam ahead. Others I’m running on fumes.

Looking for and trusting MY signs is important. They tell me when to leap with no obvious landing pad in sight. When to power through “the long slog between starting and mastery.” When to rest and fill my tank. How to keep going.

There is no end point on this journey. The journey is the point.

“So, I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said, “Thank you, Lord, for thinkin’ ’bout me. I’m alive and doin’ fine.”
―The Five Man Electrical Band; Signs

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