How many times have I said this? “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” A friend and I recently acknowledged our use of this magical phrase as a way to side-step the hard work. It’ll happen if it’s meant to be . . . Me DO something? Why?
Yes – on occasion acceptance of things I can’t control is appropriate. Do I have the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can change and those I can’t? There’s a prayer for that!
The hard work – courage.
How many times has self-labeling kept me stuck? Or allowed me to take a pass? In conversations with my “pessimistic” friends I claim to see the “glass as half-full” – or that I “wear rose-colored glasses.” Does my preference for being an optimist keep me from participating in the “real world?” Then, when the “real world” shows up is that why I’m gob-smacked?
Being willing to do the hard work means I’m willing to challenge my perceptions; perceptions of my personal beliefs, my circumstances; the society in which I live. Some perceptions provide armor in a tough world; some provide excuses – or explanations. Some are authentic. If I never look, I’ll never know. If I never know, can I truly be happy?
Recently my Flipboard Newsfeed brought the Feb 2016, Time Magazine article Doing These 4 Things Will Make You Happier, According to Neuroscience by Eric Barker. Neuroscience and brain research fascinate me – people who make is accessible to non-experts are remarkable.
What a great piece – who wouldn’t want to know simple, scientifically proven steps to happiness? I shared it widely among my friends. For those who aren’t brain research aficionados; I share Barker’s cliff notes:
“Here’s what brain research says will make you happy:
- Ask, “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
- Label those negative emotions. Give it a name, and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
- Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”
- Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.”
Opening myself to the real world, having an attitude of gratitude – labeling those pesky negative emotions help me participate and contribute. Releasing my perfectionist ways and simply taking action reduces the rationalized paralysis. The best – Hugs!! Being heart-to-heart with those closest to me, vulnerable and accessible, bring the biggest rewards.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
“If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.” ― Aldous Huxley
When I pulled this card out of the pack – to see what the Universe wanted me to meditate about; my first reaction was to put it back and pick another card. Surely I checked the “don’t be predictable” box!
Don’t be so predictable.
In his book “Why Buddhism Is True; The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment,” Robert Wright discusses the Buddhist concept of not-self. The view of “not-self” is hard for westerners to appreciate. We think we’re in charge – we’re our very own CEO. In control our mind, the beliefs we hold; the world we see from our very own eyes.
If I were Queen of Me … my body would behave as instructed, I’d feel happy, joyous and free ALWAYS! My Queen would ensure my perceptions are noble and true; my emotions steady and pleasing. There would be no radical committee in my head hi-jacking my thoughts, inclinations and habits. No! My Queen would be consciously aware in all things.
Using a “field of evolutionary psychology” that asserts “the mind is ‘modular’,” Wright proposes we look at how our brains evolved for the source of thoughts, feelings and beliefs. This psychological approach says people primarily behave in ways that ensure our genes get passed on to the next generation. The choices we make, the theory goes, are all a factor of evolution.
What are my stories? I’d love for the “I can’t resist sweets” story module to be wrestled to the ground by the “I eat healthy foods” story module. Evolutionarily-wise … eating healthy should have lots of muscle! But NOOOOO … I allowed the sweets reward module to become The Hulk! How can I tame this monster?
“That doesn’t mean you succumb . . . it just means you don’t try to push the urge out of your mind. Rather you follow the same mindfulness technique that you’d apply to other bothersome feelings—anxiety, resentment, melancholy, hatred. You just calmly (or as calmly as possible) … examine the feeling. What part of your body is the urge felt in? What is the texture of the urge? Is it sharp? Dull and heavy?
Being lifted out of a funk is marvelous. The vehicle of that nudge however – not entirely predictable. Bemoaning my woes to a friend who’s fighting the good fight with me, she said she wasn’t anxious about events – called herself a “happy warrior.” Jealous me; I was anxious, restless and prickly – applying all known remedies in my tool kit, making small progress.
About 300,000 years after their appearance, matter and energy started to coalesce into complex structures, called atoms, which then combined into molecules. The story of atoms, molecules and their interactions is called chemistry. 
There’s enough for everyone!
