Category: Philosophy – An Examined Life

Posted on

Live and Thrive in An Ambiguous World

Living and thriving with ambiguity is a balancing act. Having a plan is good. Rigid insistence it play out perfectly is not.

Leon Seltzer, Ph.D. says that “certainties in life are scarce, almost non-existent.” In the Psychology Today article, How Well Do You Deal With Ambiguity? he encourages action.

“Deciding to pursue what’s presently indeterminable takes guts.” When we don’t act, we may lose “opportunities to accomplish what’s vital to us.” Indecision or worry over obstacles can short circuit dreams. Not choosing is choosing.

Still, anxiety about a situation might push me to move too quickly. Goodbye frying pan, hello fire. When I give myself space to consider what I really want; or don’t want, I can choose what’s best for me.

Some people have a higher tolerance for uncertainty than others.

The “Need for Closure Scale” developed by Arie W. Kruglanski (University of Maryland), is a useful tool. It highlights where I fall on the need-to-know meter; what makes me relaxed or dissatisfied. It points out why and how I may take risks.

Need for Closure Scale. Can you Tolerate Uncertainty – 47 Questions & Scoring to determine (HTML)

My results didn’t surprise me. I’m undeniably above average in the gotta know department. Yet reasonably tolerant to mystery and shadows. Definitely a situational thang.

While reliability over chaos is preferable, too much predictability is boring. Having structure in my life helps me accomplish my goals. But time off is necessary or interest fades and I get restless.

Developing tolerance for ambiguity frees me to live life on life’s terms. To trust the process.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

— Gilda Radner
Share
Posted on

So Little Time – Spend It Wisely

Decades ago, mom gave me a T-shirt with the saying “So many books, so little time.” I still wear it, shabby and stained as it is. The sentiment reminds me of the abundance around me and to choose wisely – and of my mom. Our time allotment isn’t all that long. Spending it pursuing joy is important.

The Cycle of Life

Nature has its seasons, and life is cyclical. Last December during the winter solstice, I set an Intention for the coming year, including monthly check-ins at each new moon.

This week the second new moon of the year arrived – the Worm Moon. As I settled in for my promised monthly review, I was struck by how task oriented I am. Does this help me achieve my goal? Maybe.

My 2023 intention is to have “A Sense of Purpose.” This particular quest began knowing it’s an intangible and abstract proposition. Choosing where to put my time and energy is key. The three paths that called me were community, writing and self-care. They looked the most promising to deliver encounters with insight into the part I play in this life.

Being a singular person, self-care is vital. Prioritizing my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health gives me the stamina and inspiration to meet this mystery. My writing shows me what I know, what I don’t know – and the great chasm in between; not to mention as a door to be both brave and vulnerable. As part of a whole my community reflects where and who I am; offering direction and a foundation to grow.

I chose projects, experiences and encounters to pursue for each path. They are all delightful and motivating, and I eagerly jumped in.

Backroads; Wyoming

In month one I acknowledged, HA! my eyes are bigger than my stomach and the banquet needed to be refined. My appetite is big, but I moved a few bits to a back burner. Still, I did look at potential time sucks; were they obstacles or assists? I’m talking to you TikTok! This question is still under review.

Month two included low energy and lack of motivation. Instead of shaking my finger at myself, I stepped off the treadmill and rested. So, not every box will be checked on my March “want to do” list, but a big win for Emotional Health (woot woot).

This is an interesting journey I set myself on, and I’m eager for more.

“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself, an attempt at such a road, the intimation of a path… But each of us – experiments of the depths – strives toward his own destiny. We can understand one another; but each of us is able to interpret himself to himself alone.”

― Herman Hesse
Share
Posted on

Intellect vs Intuition – The Power of And

Intellect and intuition are two distinct animals. Understanding things rationally may ask me to set aside emotion, while my gut feelings lean into it. Both can be constructive on their own. When paired, they’re magical.

My studies emphasize logic and critical thinking. But, my inclinations favor the hunch. When life presents a possibility and its decision time, I’ll weigh my options. However, I ultimately trust what feels right. Ignoring the bad belly, the niggling doubt, or the emotional vampire bit my ass more than once.

When you know you know.

Cultural programming tells me common-sense is de rigueur. But is it? In an article from Psychology Today, Jim Taylor, PhD says: Common Sense Is Neither Common nor Sense.

“If common sense was common, then most people wouldn’t make the kinds of decisions they do every day. People wouldn’t buy stuff they can’t afford. They wouldn’t smoke cigarettes or eat junk food. They wouldn’t gamble.”

Dr. Taylor goes on to say that while Americans may revere this maxim, it’s but “a fallacy that has been foisted on us by our culture of ideology (any ideology that wants to tell us what we should think and do) that prefers us to be stupid, ill-informed, and poor decision-makers.”

Logic and questioning assumptions is not common-sense. Insight isn’t make-believe.

Yes, reason wants facts. Seeing is believing, and critical thinking promotes the need to analyze and evaluate an idea. Imagination calls for creativity and vision where believing is seeing. There’s a case for both.

Watching for omens and signs from the Universe is a favorite pastime. Trusting the message when it appears takes patience. That critical evaluation gives me confidence to follow my heart. In due course “the proof of the pudding is in the eating” as they say. Take the leap, enjoy life.

“Trust instinct to the end, even though you can give no reason.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Share
Posted on

Hooked by Illusion – Snap out of It!

Living in the present moment wants tenacity. Relentless worries about some possible future – or triggers from old narratives surface regularly. Getting hooked by the illusion shaped by these tales opens the door to suffering.

At the height of my Corporate adventures, musing about my next holiday lightened the daily grind. Before that my daydreams were filled with achieving the very role I then wanted to escape. And so on and so forth. An unconscious way to walk through life.

Something was amiss.

My curiosity on this puzzle led me to many great sages, like Dr. Joe Dispenza and Eckhart Tolle. Their books struck a chord, bringing together concepts and perspectives, particularly about the nature of time, that continue to influence my studies.

Time isn’t real. It’s simply a mental construct.

When I came across this Alan Watt’s thread on Twitter, I snagged it. The Universe generously and consistently sends me reminders. Which apparently, I need always and forever.

How curiously easy it is to disconnect from the only moment I genuinely have. Angst about the past. Dread for the future. Bonds used by the media, culture and habit, keep my eyes off the divine moment I inhabit.

Alan Watts says, “you can’t live at all unless you can live fully now” . . and that “we are living for an abstraction which has not yet come to be.”

Waking up to the moment is a good message to play on repeat – to watch for and acknowledge, to meditate on. Especially for a storyteller like myself.

“Glance into the world just as though time were gone: and everything crooked will become straight to you.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche
Share
Posted on

Holding the Universe Together – As One

What holds the universe together? … does anyone know?

When I came across this quote, I felt a sense of melancholy and buoyancy all at once.

It’s unlikely I’m alone with those moments when I feel I’m holding the universe together. The responsibility of it can be overwhelming. But when I see the power in it – it’s liberating.

Even science doesn’t know this mystery.

Einstein died seeking a unifying theory. In the 70’s, physicists at CERN identified the substance gluon which carries “the strong force that “glue” quarks into protons, neutrons and other particles known collectively as hadrons.”

High school science teaches us about atoms and electrons; and the neutron/proton within its nucleus. What physicists learned 40 years ago and continue to study today is that “Inside the proton lies the deep, unsettling truth: Stuff is made of nothing, or almost nothing, held together by glue, lots of glue.” And these gluons are “massless and evanescent” and carries “most of the proton’s energy.”

“The closer you look, the more you find the proton is dissolving into lots of particles, each of which is carrying very, very little energy,” . . . “If you really study the equations, it gets almost mystical.”

– Frank Wilczek

So, what holds the universe together? Is it gluon? Is it Leah as she leans on the balcony? Maybe Leah is gluon and we’re all Leah. Maybe collectively we hold the universe together.

“To see a world in a grain of sand

And heaven in a wild flower Hold

infinity in the palms of your hand

And eternity in an hour.”

― William Blake

Share